I was going to write this post earlier, but now that I have had some time to pull myself together, I don't really know how to put this. Lets just say I had another mid-February incident.
At the weekend, I said I needed to shut myself off from other people, and so I did. That needing to be alone feeling has yet to go away, and I have been taking out all my frustration on my family.
I kind of wanted to get it all off my chest, but now it seems like it would serve no other purpose than opening up old wounds, and I don't want to have to deal with any more emotion today. Its rather exhausting.
But so is trying to change, even if it is for the better. Especially when the changes are for the benefit of the people who know me best. I've been really trying hard to make a conscious effort to be nicer, but I can't help relaxing the mask in front of those I feel most comfortable around.
They say you can't change who you are. They also say practise makes perfect.
<3 x
Showing posts with label moan moan moan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moan moan moan. Show all posts
Friday, 6 April 2012
Monday, 11 April 2011
Ding Dong
You know, I have been selling Avon now for 9 months. That's crazy.
My advice to anyone else out there thinking of becoming an Avon Representative? Don't.
The amount of time and effort it takes to get the books out, collect them all back in does not come close to equating the amount you earn from it.
For example, I have just placed this campaigns order. Out of the 20 or so books I handed out, I have received 12 orders. One of those orders is me. Another is my mother. Yet another is my father. And this was an unusually good turn out. And yet, I think I made a total of about £22 in profit. Yeah, Its nothing to complain about; its still money after all, but the amount of work that goes in to other campaigns where I don't make as much, if anything, can be extremely frustrating.
Every other campaign I hand out a total of probably 70 books, covering 50 or so 'new' houses as well as my already established area. Out of these 50 new houses, I have only had two extra orders the past 3 campaigns I have covered the area.
Even after you've dropped the books off and picked them up, there is still work to do. You have to chase up the stray books that the customers have neglected to put out for you to collect, go through the orders to make sure that the forms have been filled out correctly and honestly, deal with any returns, place the order itself, wake up at stupid o'clock to receive the order, package it all up, drop off the orders, go back out and drop off the orders to the people who weren't in the first time, repeat until all orders are distributed, and then start it all over again.
One day, I'll have to work out the total amount of time I have spent doing Avon related business and how much I have earned. I bet it won't be worth it.
However, even though I complain, I still wont give it up. I do like receiving the products, and the clearance section definitely comes in handy. More than that, though, I feel I have an obligation now to my established customers. I have a couple that only order occasionally, a few that order regularly, and two or three that order every single campaign. If I were to stop being their Avon Representative, I cant help but feel that I would be letting them down.
Damn my sense of decency.
<3 x
My advice to anyone else out there thinking of becoming an Avon Representative? Don't.
The amount of time and effort it takes to get the books out, collect them all back in does not come close to equating the amount you earn from it.
For example, I have just placed this campaigns order. Out of the 20 or so books I handed out, I have received 12 orders. One of those orders is me. Another is my mother. Yet another is my father. And this was an unusually good turn out. And yet, I think I made a total of about £22 in profit. Yeah, Its nothing to complain about; its still money after all, but the amount of work that goes in to other campaigns where I don't make as much, if anything, can be extremely frustrating.
Every other campaign I hand out a total of probably 70 books, covering 50 or so 'new' houses as well as my already established area. Out of these 50 new houses, I have only had two extra orders the past 3 campaigns I have covered the area.
Even after you've dropped the books off and picked them up, there is still work to do. You have to chase up the stray books that the customers have neglected to put out for you to collect, go through the orders to make sure that the forms have been filled out correctly and honestly, deal with any returns, place the order itself, wake up at stupid o'clock to receive the order, package it all up, drop off the orders, go back out and drop off the orders to the people who weren't in the first time, repeat until all orders are distributed, and then start it all over again.
One day, I'll have to work out the total amount of time I have spent doing Avon related business and how much I have earned. I bet it won't be worth it.
However, even though I complain, I still wont give it up. I do like receiving the products, and the clearance section definitely comes in handy. More than that, though, I feel I have an obligation now to my established customers. I have a couple that only order occasionally, a few that order regularly, and two or three that order every single campaign. If I were to stop being their Avon Representative, I cant help but feel that I would be letting them down.
Damn my sense of decency.
<3 x
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Just a lot of crap about drama and manga. And pets.
I finished watching Kimi wa Petto today. As you will know if you have been reading my blog, its a Japanese Drama about a woman that takes in a boy and looks after him as if he were a dog.
It was a really sweet drama, but these things scare me when you can relate to them. The main woman's therapist (she thinks a HUMAN is her PET DOG, of course she is in therapy) basically sums up at one point in the series that some people find it hard to love other people, placing armour around their hearts to avoid getting too close to someone who will eventually hurt them. These sorts of people tend to form a strong emotional attachment instead to a pet, loving an animal who will always need you, who will never judge you, and who you never have to be anything but your true self around. In turn, the love you have for anyone else will never be able to compete with the sheer devotion you feel towards a pet that will always accept you unconditionally.
I think this is true for me. I'm fairly sure that I never been in love. The fact that I am unsure about it I think proves that I haven't. Sure, I have liked boys, but proper love? Nah. I never let myself get close enough for that, nor have I ever allowed myself to care enough to get my heart broken. The only time I have ever felt my heart break was the last time I saw my cat. I loved that cat more than I have ever loved anything in my whole life, and I probably still do, even though he died over two and a half years ago.
Obviously I realise the relationship you have with a person is completely different from the relationship one has with a pet. If the two were the same, it would either be a very boring relationship with a person, or a sick and perverted relationship with your pet. What I am referring to is simply that it seems to me to be so much easier to let down your defences, whether subconscious or not, around an animal to let them into your heart than it is to do the same with a person.
J Dramas are funny things. The kisses tend to be pretty lame by western standards, and normally always two characters will accidentally end up kissing by falling over on to each others lips. But Kimi wa Petto was different. Other than the first time, they were proper kissing!! Still not great, but from what I have seen so far of Drama kissing, it was like mild porn. AND THERE WAS NO 'Oops, I fell on to your lips, how awkward'.
The same actors always show up too. Remember my rant a few posts ago about Makino choosing Tsukasa over Rui in Hana Yori Dango? Well Tsukasa in that was Momo the human dog in Kimi wa Petto, and also is in the new Drama I've started, Gokusen. The guy who played Rui is also in it, and he was also in Hana Kimi. The girl from Hana Kimi was also in Atashichi no Danshi (that's the one with the sauna) with another one of the guys from Hana Kimi, and in Nobuta wo Produce with the guy from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. Two of the guys from Hana Kimi were also in Mei-chan no Shitsugi, and one of them was also in Zettai Kareshi. So basically, everything I have watched so far already has a familiar face in it, which is nice in some ways, but off putting until you can stop thinking of them as the previous character.
Oh, and I've finished Vampire Knight again now too. The characters all change so much after a certain incident, and it makes me so sad. I much prefer the first 30 or so chapters, although I just don't know where the plot is heading right now, so I'm as sucked in as ever.
I'm trying to decide whether to start on the manga's of the dramas Ive seen so far, or carry on with my old plan of reading the other works of the mangakas I have already read something of. I think I got to V in the alphabet anyway, so I may as well finish that first. I used to struggle finding new manga to read, but now I think I have a good list to be getting on with, as well as a plan of reading the four suggestions that come up on onemanga.com for every manga I have already read.
In case you were wondering, for the dramas, I am making my way down the top 20 Asian dramas on dramacrazy.net, watching only the Japanese ones. Maybe I'll do the other ones eventually too, such as Korean Dramas etc, but I don't want to confuse myself when I am just starting to pick up Japanese.
I know you don't care, and I don't really know why I decided that I should tell you all this, but hey, you guys already know I'm a loser, so never mind.
Oh, and I finished my skirt that used to be a pair of jeans today. Its pretty cool. Maybe I'll post a picture some day.
This is a long post, and one that doesn't say anything new.
To sum up:
1) I am single and likely to stay that way
2) I like manga, anime and drama
<3 x
It was a really sweet drama, but these things scare me when you can relate to them. The main woman's therapist (she thinks a HUMAN is her PET DOG, of course she is in therapy) basically sums up at one point in the series that some people find it hard to love other people, placing armour around their hearts to avoid getting too close to someone who will eventually hurt them. These sorts of people tend to form a strong emotional attachment instead to a pet, loving an animal who will always need you, who will never judge you, and who you never have to be anything but your true self around. In turn, the love you have for anyone else will never be able to compete with the sheer devotion you feel towards a pet that will always accept you unconditionally.
I think this is true for me. I'm fairly sure that I never been in love. The fact that I am unsure about it I think proves that I haven't. Sure, I have liked boys, but proper love? Nah. I never let myself get close enough for that, nor have I ever allowed myself to care enough to get my heart broken. The only time I have ever felt my heart break was the last time I saw my cat. I loved that cat more than I have ever loved anything in my whole life, and I probably still do, even though he died over two and a half years ago.
Obviously I realise the relationship you have with a person is completely different from the relationship one has with a pet. If the two were the same, it would either be a very boring relationship with a person, or a sick and perverted relationship with your pet. What I am referring to is simply that it seems to me to be so much easier to let down your defences, whether subconscious or not, around an animal to let them into your heart than it is to do the same with a person.
J Dramas are funny things. The kisses tend to be pretty lame by western standards, and normally always two characters will accidentally end up kissing by falling over on to each others lips. But Kimi wa Petto was different. Other than the first time, they were proper kissing!! Still not great, but from what I have seen so far of Drama kissing, it was like mild porn. AND THERE WAS NO 'Oops, I fell on to your lips, how awkward'.
I was trying to find a good 'accidental kiss' picture, but this long awaited kiss from
Zettai Kareshi is just too amusing not to put up.
HOT.
Don't look directly at it, the pure unbridled passion will burn your eyes!
(Thinking what happens after this hurts my heart.)
The same actors always show up too. Remember my rant a few posts ago about Makino choosing Tsukasa over Rui in Hana Yori Dango? Well Tsukasa in that was Momo the human dog in Kimi wa Petto, and also is in the new Drama I've started, Gokusen. The guy who played Rui is also in it, and he was also in Hana Kimi. The girl from Hana Kimi was also in Atashichi no Danshi (that's the one with the sauna) with another one of the guys from Hana Kimi, and in Nobuta wo Produce with the guy from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. Two of the guys from Hana Kimi were also in Mei-chan no Shitsugi, and one of them was also in Zettai Kareshi. So basically, everything I have watched so far already has a familiar face in it, which is nice in some ways, but off putting until you can stop thinking of them as the previous character.
Oh, and I've finished Vampire Knight again now too. The characters all change so much after a certain incident, and it makes me so sad. I much prefer the first 30 or so chapters, although I just don't know where the plot is heading right now, so I'm as sucked in as ever.
I'm trying to decide whether to start on the manga's of the dramas Ive seen so far, or carry on with my old plan of reading the other works of the mangakas I have already read something of. I think I got to V in the alphabet anyway, so I may as well finish that first. I used to struggle finding new manga to read, but now I think I have a good list to be getting on with, as well as a plan of reading the four suggestions that come up on onemanga.com for every manga I have already read.
In case you were wondering, for the dramas, I am making my way down the top 20 Asian dramas on dramacrazy.net, watching only the Japanese ones. Maybe I'll do the other ones eventually too, such as Korean Dramas etc, but I don't want to confuse myself when I am just starting to pick up Japanese.
I know you don't care, and I don't really know why I decided that I should tell you all this, but hey, you guys already know I'm a loser, so never mind.
Oh, and I finished my skirt that used to be a pair of jeans today. Its pretty cool. Maybe I'll post a picture some day.
This is a long post, and one that doesn't say anything new.
To sum up:
1) I am single and likely to stay that way
2) I like manga, anime and drama
<3 x
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Nurse Jackie & Cereal Intermission
You know, I still can't get over the fact that its APRIL already. APRIL. We are like a quarter of the way through 2011 already. Christmas and new years and snow and all that seem ages ago, but the weeks just rush by and I have no idea where they are going. I find it very scary.
Today was pretty boring, I went to work, brought my mum a plant thing for Mother's Day tomorrow, ran into my old driving instructor (not literally) and had a natter, went home, started sorting out my sewing room, moved what had basically amounted to my entire wardrobe from the floor to hangers, ate dinner, tidied the kitchen, and sat down to write this post. Now my mum is calling me for Nurse Jackie.
I might get some cereal too.
Back in a bit ....
Right, I'm back. I have just read what I had already written, and I feel I must apologise for how utterly boring it is. Kind of rushed too. I'll try to think of something more interesting to write about for the rest of this post.
Ummm.... Oh, I know! BOYS.
My dear Mamma decided today after a little gossip that I should have a boyfriend, and now every time she opens her mouth, it is to ask me what my 'man plan' is, or to make suggestions for my 'boy ploy'. I don't know why I need a 'man plan' or a 'boy ploy'. I like being single.
No, that isn't really true. I tend to freak out when it comes to boys and relationships. That is new and scary, whereas being on my own is familiar and safe. Yet I cant help but want to be wanted.
Gah I have got to stop moaning on this blog.
I'm going to make my mum a Mother's Day card now. Something like this.
Because its Super Junior cute.
<3 x
Today was pretty boring, I went to work, brought my mum a plant thing for Mother's Day tomorrow, ran into my old driving instructor (not literally) and had a natter, went home, started sorting out my sewing room, moved what had basically amounted to my entire wardrobe from the floor to hangers, ate dinner, tidied the kitchen, and sat down to write this post. Now my mum is calling me for Nurse Jackie.
I might get some cereal too.
Back in a bit ....
Right, I'm back. I have just read what I had already written, and I feel I must apologise for how utterly boring it is. Kind of rushed too. I'll try to think of something more interesting to write about for the rest of this post.
Ummm.... Oh, I know! BOYS.
My dear Mamma decided today after a little gossip that I should have a boyfriend, and now every time she opens her mouth, it is to ask me what my 'man plan' is, or to make suggestions for my 'boy ploy'. I don't know why I need a 'man plan' or a 'boy ploy'. I like being single.
No, that isn't really true. I tend to freak out when it comes to boys and relationships. That is new and scary, whereas being on my own is familiar and safe. Yet I cant help but want to be wanted.
Gah I have got to stop moaning on this blog.
I'm going to make my mum a Mother's Day card now. Something like this.
<3 x
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
My 1.1/5 Life Crisis
So I'm having issues at the moment.
I may have been told to, and I quote, 'think less ... and stop doubting everything', so this is my way of doing so. I'll pour my heart out on here and get it all of my chest.
Right, so here goes.
Career
To be frank, I don't really know why I am bothering. It seems to me that this career path I have chosen is a hell of a lot of work and hassle to get nothing in return but your name in the midst of a load of other people names that few people will read anyway. At the end of the day, this is not what I studied for three years at uni for, or even college. If I had known how to make contacts when I was 16, I could have done this job then, without the need to go to college or university, and now probably be in a healthier position financially as well as career wise than it is possible for me to be able to get to now. My degree was making costumes, and while I realise I have more talent in this aspect than the majority of people, I am by no means good enough to be able to call myself a professional or produce things to a professional standard.
My dream was always to be involved in films. This is where the whole of my career plan came from, the desire to somehow be part of that. I only choose the costume side of it because I was somewhat adequate at textiles at school and liked dressing up. Linked to that was my discovery of moviecostumes.org, an American website which has now either been closed down or taken over of one woman would make movie costume replicas to order, and believe me, these costumes were amazing. She stopped because she was fed up of hate due to her high prices and making the same few costumes over and over again. Anyway, I had always wanted to do this, and have harboured the idea in my heart for many years, but have always been too scared to properly make a go of it. My work isn't good enough to be able to make the costumes as perfect as I'll want them to be.
Basically, what I guess I'm trying to say is that I think I should give up. I cant afford to work 6 days a week and 14 hours a day for free. I cant afford to stubbornly hold on to making use of my degree when there is nothing I can legitimately and successfully do with it. I don't want to have to sacrifice my life for my work, which is what I would have to do if I did this full time. I wouldn't have time for friends, I wouldn't have time for family; my life would consist of get up, work, sleep, repeat. I don't want that. Maybe I should get a '9-5' normal job and be a normal person. Save up for houses and holidays and other things beginning with H. People have always told me to keep writing as a hobby, maybe I should do this with sewing as well.
Love
I'm not sure I'm really capable of this. I just find my self unable to feel anything. I don't mean general love, I know I'm capable of that, after all I love my friends, my family, my cat and cake; but romantic love? I'm not sure. Every 'relationship' I have been in has been exactly the same; I like spending time with the person, we get on and all that, but something just isn't right, there's something quintessential missing, so I end it before the other person gets too involved.
I read an article on msn the other day, and it said something that really rang true to me. I cant remember the exact words, but it was something along the lines of 'not everybody is meant to be one half of a couple.' I think that's me. I'm far too independent and I enjoy being on my own too much to give myself over completely to someone else. My mother says that I just haven't met the right person yet, which may be true, after all, I know I'm still young, but 22 and never been in love? I have always thought that there are two types of people; the people who are always in relationships, jumping from one long term relationship to the next; and those who are always single, jumping from one long term spell of singledom to the next. I'm one of the latter. Maybe there is just something in me that makes me unsuitable to be in a relationship.
John Green's book 'An Abundance of Katherines' is about the main character coming up with a theorem regarding 'dumpers' and 'dumpees'. I know I'm a dumper, but I always used to think it was a fear of commitment. At the first sign of things getting serious, and I display man-like tendencies and leg it. Now, I'm starting to wonder if its more the fact that I'm just not girlfriend material. I don't feel comfortable in relationships because I'm better suited to being single. I'm not saying that this option is what I want, far from it, I want the husband/children/house/cat thing so much, but maybe I just have to accept the fact that this isn't going to happen for me.
I guess these are the two main things that are affecting me right now, and both are going to come under serious reconsideration after I have done this shoot. I'm sorry for venting out my heart on here, but you know, I do feel better for it.
<3 x
Anime/Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 17 / Faster than a Kiss ch 30)
Last Google Search: TRAIN STATIONS WALSALL (oooh all caps, she must not be impressed)
I may have been told to, and I quote, 'think less ... and stop doubting everything', so this is my way of doing so. I'll pour my heart out on here and get it all of my chest.
Right, so here goes.
Career
To be frank, I don't really know why I am bothering. It seems to me that this career path I have chosen is a hell of a lot of work and hassle to get nothing in return but your name in the midst of a load of other people names that few people will read anyway. At the end of the day, this is not what I studied for three years at uni for, or even college. If I had known how to make contacts when I was 16, I could have done this job then, without the need to go to college or university, and now probably be in a healthier position financially as well as career wise than it is possible for me to be able to get to now. My degree was making costumes, and while I realise I have more talent in this aspect than the majority of people, I am by no means good enough to be able to call myself a professional or produce things to a professional standard.
My dream was always to be involved in films. This is where the whole of my career plan came from, the desire to somehow be part of that. I only choose the costume side of it because I was somewhat adequate at textiles at school and liked dressing up. Linked to that was my discovery of moviecostumes.org, an American website which has now either been closed down or taken over of one woman would make movie costume replicas to order, and believe me, these costumes were amazing. She stopped because she was fed up of hate due to her high prices and making the same few costumes over and over again. Anyway, I had always wanted to do this, and have harboured the idea in my heart for many years, but have always been too scared to properly make a go of it. My work isn't good enough to be able to make the costumes as perfect as I'll want them to be.
Basically, what I guess I'm trying to say is that I think I should give up. I cant afford to work 6 days a week and 14 hours a day for free. I cant afford to stubbornly hold on to making use of my degree when there is nothing I can legitimately and successfully do with it. I don't want to have to sacrifice my life for my work, which is what I would have to do if I did this full time. I wouldn't have time for friends, I wouldn't have time for family; my life would consist of get up, work, sleep, repeat. I don't want that. Maybe I should get a '9-5' normal job and be a normal person. Save up for houses and holidays and other things beginning with H. People have always told me to keep writing as a hobby, maybe I should do this with sewing as well.
Love
I'm not sure I'm really capable of this. I just find my self unable to feel anything. I don't mean general love, I know I'm capable of that, after all I love my friends, my family, my cat and cake; but romantic love? I'm not sure. Every 'relationship' I have been in has been exactly the same; I like spending time with the person, we get on and all that, but something just isn't right, there's something quintessential missing, so I end it before the other person gets too involved.
I read an article on msn the other day, and it said something that really rang true to me. I cant remember the exact words, but it was something along the lines of 'not everybody is meant to be one half of a couple.' I think that's me. I'm far too independent and I enjoy being on my own too much to give myself over completely to someone else. My mother says that I just haven't met the right person yet, which may be true, after all, I know I'm still young, but 22 and never been in love? I have always thought that there are two types of people; the people who are always in relationships, jumping from one long term relationship to the next; and those who are always single, jumping from one long term spell of singledom to the next. I'm one of the latter. Maybe there is just something in me that makes me unsuitable to be in a relationship.
John Green's book 'An Abundance of Katherines' is about the main character coming up with a theorem regarding 'dumpers' and 'dumpees'. I know I'm a dumper, but I always used to think it was a fear of commitment. At the first sign of things getting serious, and I display man-like tendencies and leg it. Now, I'm starting to wonder if its more the fact that I'm just not girlfriend material. I don't feel comfortable in relationships because I'm better suited to being single. I'm not saying that this option is what I want, far from it, I want the husband/children/house/cat thing so much, but maybe I just have to accept the fact that this isn't going to happen for me.
I guess these are the two main things that are affecting me right now, and both are going to come under serious reconsideration after I have done this shoot. I'm sorry for venting out my heart on here, but you know, I do feel better for it.
<3 x
Anime/Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 17 / Faster than a Kiss ch 30)
Last Google Search: TRAIN STATIONS WALSALL (oooh all caps, she must not be impressed)
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Procrastination
Having just updated the Cake Brigade Blog, I thought I would come over here and talk about none cake related things for a while.
So updates! I have finished on Cardcaptors, both American and Japanese versions with accompanying movies. I have to say, that I enjoyed the Japanese Version much more than I expected to. The whole Sakura/Syaoran storyline was so lovely, and its such a shame that the American version completely cut it out. Don't get me wrong, I understand why, it wouldn't have appealed to the demographic they were going for, but still, it really made you connect with the characters so much more!
Right now, I am very much of the opinion screw Team Edward, Team Syaoran all the way!
So now, I'm on to Tsubasa. I have read up a lot on how confusing this is going to turn out to be, and how the anime doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but at the moment, I'm really enjoying it. Different incarnations of some familiar characters, but I'm still TEAM SYAORAN.
Is it weird that I have a new found appreciation of music in Japanese?
In other news, I'm on a Slim-Fast diet. I'm not doing it how you are meant to; 2 shakes, 3 snacks or whatever, but I don't care, its working for me. I have one shake for lunch, and then my evening meal. So far, my weekends have let me down, but still, I haven't put on weight, and am very slowly losing it from what my infrequent weigh-ins tell me. I feel that Slim-Fast is a great way of character building, because it doesn't half take some will power. So therefore, so far, success!
I'm going to Leeds for a production meeting on Monday, which should be good. Right now, I'm procrastinating for doing some designs to prep for it, as my inability to illustrate what is in my mind is driving me crazy. I have been trying to do one design, one episode of Tsubasa to keep me going, but its just so frustrating, that I'm going to wait until its later and I'm nearly asleep. I used to do that at uni, because it would loosen me up, and also mean I wouldn't care as much, so its a win win. I just want so much to do well at this, but its so hard.
Some people have a talent in drawing. I am not one of those people.
<3 x
So updates! I have finished on Cardcaptors, both American and Japanese versions with accompanying movies. I have to say, that I enjoyed the Japanese Version much more than I expected to. The whole Sakura/Syaoran storyline was so lovely, and its such a shame that the American version completely cut it out. Don't get me wrong, I understand why, it wouldn't have appealed to the demographic they were going for, but still, it really made you connect with the characters so much more!
Right now, I am very much of the opinion screw Team Edward, Team Syaoran all the way!
So now, I'm on to Tsubasa. I have read up a lot on how confusing this is going to turn out to be, and how the anime doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but at the moment, I'm really enjoying it. Different incarnations of some familiar characters, but I'm still TEAM SYAORAN.
Is it weird that I have a new found appreciation of music in Japanese?
In other news, I'm on a Slim-Fast diet. I'm not doing it how you are meant to; 2 shakes, 3 snacks or whatever, but I don't care, its working for me. I have one shake for lunch, and then my evening meal. So far, my weekends have let me down, but still, I haven't put on weight, and am very slowly losing it from what my infrequent weigh-ins tell me. I feel that Slim-Fast is a great way of character building, because it doesn't half take some will power. So therefore, so far, success!
I'm going to Leeds for a production meeting on Monday, which should be good. Right now, I'm procrastinating for doing some designs to prep for it, as my inability to illustrate what is in my mind is driving me crazy. I have been trying to do one design, one episode of Tsubasa to keep me going, but its just so frustrating, that I'm going to wait until its later and I'm nearly asleep. I used to do that at uni, because it would loosen me up, and also mean I wouldn't care as much, so its a win win. I just want so much to do well at this, but its so hard.
Some people have a talent in drawing. I am not one of those people.
<3 x
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