C9 - The Results

So I finished my c9 cleanse on Sunday, and did my final weigh in and measurements on Monday. Today is Wednesday, so this may prepare you a little for my final thoughts on the plan.

Firstly, let's go through the numbers. 

My start weight was 73.9kg. After the 9 days, my finish weight was 72.4kg. To say that I'm disappointed in this would be an understatement. I followed the plan to the letter, but for some reason, I seemed to peak half way through and then started to slowly put weight back on. 

Worse than the less than drastic weight loss is the almost total absence of inch loss. My waist, thigh, arm and hip measurements stayed exactly the same. I lost a lowly 1/2 inch from my bust. 

I did this plan expecting drastic results. Yes, I got a positive result, I lost weight, but was it worth it? That's something I don't think I can answer positively. I am disappointed. I did not achieve even close to my goals. In fact, all the plan has done for me is to make me feel that my goals are that much more unachievable.

I have not noticed an improvement in my energy levels. Despite people telling me my skin looks very clear, I can't say I have noticed a change. My hair feels more greasy than normal, and looking at a photo taken when my hair was freshly washed, I can't help but think it looks lank and lifeless. 

Also, and stop reading now if you don't want to know bowel stuff, but I didn't poo for a full week between incident on day 2 and the morning of day 9, as well as rather smelly wind after the cleanse had finished. 

This doesn't change the sucess stories associated with the c9, especially from people who I have seen doing their own plan. However, there is a huge expectation that if everyone else is seemingly loosing stones and inches over the course of the plan, and that hurts deeply when you don't achieve the same results. 

I feel a failure even though I tried my absolute best.

I feel angry at myself for having fallen for a product that promises such drastic results. 

I feel upset that I have been through such an emotional roller coaster and have nothing to show for it. 

I feel like not getting the results I expected from this plan has the very real potential to put me on a very slippery slope in regards to my view of myself. 

C9 - Day 8

Today is my first day of feeling utterly and absolutely demotivated. I don't see the point in carrying on anymore. 

It's 11am, and I'm still in bed. So much for all that energy you're supposed to get on the clean9. 

I just weighed myself and realised that there is absolutely no chance I am going to loose the last two kilos I wanted as my minimum loss in the next 48 hour.

Looking at myself, I am no thinner, no less bloated, and nor do I feel any happier about my body. 

Today is one of my friends birthday, and she's having a party for her 2 year old this afternoon. I can't help but think what is the point in trying to carry on with this facade when there is no chance of a feeling of accomplishment at the end of it. 

I warned myself in previous posts that I don't have the mental strength for this. 

I thought that I had nothing to lose. That the chance of loosing a little weight was worth the £100 price tag. But now I feel like I've failed even though I've been so careful to keep well within the plans perametres. 

I've taken all the tablets. I've drunk all the gel. I've had the shakes with almond milk rather than milk to cut out the fat and up the protein. I've kept within my 600 cal limit for meals, even including free foods. I've stayed up late in the night doing all of the blogilates 30 day challenges for my half an hour exercise, even on top of classes and walks. 

And still I'm sat here crying my eyes out because it's all been for nothing. 

C9 - Days 4-6

Sorry I've not posted in a few days. There are a few reasons why. Firstly, things will get kind of repetitive now that the plan is the same for the rest of the cleanse, secondly, that nothing of note has happened, and thirdly, and most thruthfully, I just plain forgot. 

Ok, so what's been going on in the world of doing the clean 9? 

Well, I still think there is a huge mental element to this that I'm not sure I have the strength for. There is still a degree of food guilt, even though my total calories for an average day is below 900 cals.

I don't feel any different in terms of my energy, something that the plan and previous users have all claimed increases dramatically on the plan. I also haven't noticed any improvement to my hair, skin or nails, although I was told today by two completely unrelated people that my skin looked very healthy. To be honest, I've never been great at noticing things like this anyway, but if my mum and my boss notice a difference, then I'll take it. 

I'm very much enjoying drinking less aloe. However, I do find myself more hungry  than I did when I ate practically nothing on the first two days. I think the aloe must fill you up due to it being a gel. On the other hand, the fact that I find it hard to keep on top of my water consumption and to take the pills at regular intervals while at school might also have a part to play. I'm quite often coming home at half 3 having not drunk or eaten anything since about 8.30. 

Having said that, the 600 cals of an evening meal is plenty. I wouldn't say I'm stuffed after every meal, but it's certainly a decent amount. I have had two veg fajitas with cheese, sour cream and salsa for 3 of my 4 meals on the cleanse so far, and it's probably as much as I would want normally to be honest. I might shake it up and have enchiladas tomorrow. 

This morning was weigh in and measure up day. I have steadily lost weight during the cleanse up to now, having lost just shy of 1.5kg over the past 6 days. I did not loose any inches though, and I didn't realise how important this was to me until it didn't happen. The number on the scales going down is all well and good, but it does kind of feel a bit pointless when you can't see the change on the outside. 

I'm still hopeful for the end of the plan, but right now, I'm not to happy with all my progress pics not showing any progress. Without a noticeable change, it's just a load of photos of me in my bra and pants for no reason. 

I'll probably not post again until day 9, and then I'll do a results post the next day. I'm nervous I won't meet my 'under 70kg' goal, so really going to try to step it up over the last few days. Gymming every day even if it's on my own, trying harder with my water .... I will do this.