Evaluation

Yeah. Nano isn't happening for me this year. Again.

I have simply come to the conclusion there is just no way I can do it. I'm on 11 000 words with three full writing days left; there is no way in hell I can write the remaining 39 000 words in that time. That's what, 13 000 words a day? Others may be able to do that, but I struggled with writing 4500 words, so I know my limits.

I am disappointed in myself, I'm happy to admit it. I think it would have been amazing if I had managed to crawl my way back winning this year, and not for anybody else or for any other reason but to have that personal satisfaction that I achieved something. But the odds were stacked against me too high, and I just don't have the willpower.

Part of the problem was not getting into the mind set from the start, but my main issue is that I didn't know my story this year. I had a very brief outline of what happens at the beginning middle and end, but no real detail or planning. I was under prepared, plain and simple.

However, this year, I will not allow this book to sit untouched on my computer. I know what I am capable of, and I will finish it. I will edit both parts. I will edit them again. Then next November, maybe I'll have a third part ready to draft, and then I can use the createspace discount they give nanowrimo winners each year to self publish the finished thing. Maybe even sell a copy or two on amazon. I'm not an idiot, I don't expect to ever get an agent or be published properly, but just to have a physical copy of something I have written would be more than enough for me.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what I was doing when I should have been writing since I ... well stopped writing, I finished Ouran High School Host Club anime and started on the manga, finished reading Watashi ni xx Shinasai, and watched the entirety of True Blood season three.

Sometimes a girl needs many distractions.

<3

TARGETS

20TH NOVEMBER -      6,500 WORDS (6089)
21ST NOVEMBER -     11,000 WORDS (8282)
22ND NOVEMBER -    15,500 WORDS (11344) *
23RD NOVEMBER -    20,000 WORDS (11344)
24TH NOVEMBER -    24,500 WORDS (ERM)
25TH NOVEMBER -    29,000 WORDS (*IGNORES GUILT*)
26TH NOVEMBER -    33,500 WORDS (LET'S)
27TH NOVEMBER -    38,000 WORDS (JUST)
28TH NOVEMBER -    42, 500 WORDS (NOT)
29TH NOVEMBER -    47,000 WORDS (GO)
30TH NOVEMBER -    51,500 WORDS (THERE)

EDIT: EPIC fail when I realised that November only has 30 days .... 

* This is more depressing than encouraging. I'm slipping behind by quite a lot, and it'll be hard to catch up, if not impossible. I tend to get in the swing of it and be doing really well, then I take a break to eat or make a drink or pee or something and then cant get back into it. Ergo, maybe I shouldn't take breaks.

DANG IT, I WILL DO THIS

Right now, and I mean, like RIGHT NOW, I'm having a little bit of a silent freak out. I know what the reason for this is, and I am also well aware of how irrational it is, but hey, I'm a girl and God knows how irrational freak outs are what girls do best. It doesn't help that I'm sat on my own, watching the time tick away until I can go home and do everything I have to do before heading towards what the freak out is all about.

That's enough waffling trying to set the scene for the state of my mind right now. Now to the real point of this blog post.

On November 1st, I started Nanowrimo with high hopes. Then, a measly 2318 words later, work got in the way and I gave up, telling myself that I would catch up after the shoot and all would be well. Then work finished and I couldn't be bothered, preferring to spend my newly reclaimed free time sleeping and watching Vampire Diaries, and I completely put Nanowrimo out of my head.

Until now.

Like, literally just now.

While bored at the office, with dodgy Internet and having finished reading the latest House of Night book, I thought I would go on to the website to see how far behind I was.

Ideally, I should be just over 31000 words at this point in the month.

I'm on 2300.

'Ha,' I thought to myself. 'Not a chance!'

Then I looked down at the stats thing, which told me I needed to write 4335 words a day to complete on time.

'Thats not so bad,' I said, continuing my conversation with myself. 'I wrote 5000 words on the 31st last November with no sweat.'

So, on a little piece of paper, I wrote out all the days left of the month, and assuming I managed to write 5000 words a day, I figured I would finish the month with 62,300 words. I recalculated with 4,500 words a day, and came to 56,300 words. Out of curiosity, I worked out 4000 words and realised that somehow, I could still successfully complete nanowrimo this year despite what the stats on the site had told me.

Yes, this is how I do maths.

SO, STARTING TOMORROW, 4000 WORDS A DAY AND I WILL COMPLETE NANOWRIMO 2010!


<3 x


manga / anime: don't exist until December

Sports

My parents were watching the Grand Prix today, and while I stared unseeingly towards the screen, I got to thinking about how boring watching all sports is. Let me break it down for you.

Motor Racing - In all its various forms, it is basically just watching a load of cars/bikes/whatever drive round in circles. Sometimes one will take over another, or there will be a crash. If I wanted to see this I could just go look at any road, specifically a motorway to fully replicate the speed and likelihood of crash fatalities.

Football - A load of blokes running from one side of a field to the other. Then back again. Repeat forever, or however long a football game lasts for these days.

Rugby - See above, but with more distinct gay tendencies. I mean, come on, these guys run around trying to hug each other. Its quite sweet really, and I imagine would be a lot less painful if they weren't so eager to do so at speed.

Cricket - I cant honestly say whether I have ever watched this sport or not. It was clearly so boring if I have that I have completely wiped it from my memory. Men whacking balls with big bats? My sadistic side finds the thought highly amusing.


OK so while 'watching' the Grand Prix, this blog post seemed a hell of a lot longer and far more amusingly analytical. Having now written it, I am seeing that what I think in my head and how I manage to express it are two very different things.

In other news (whenever I write this I always feel like a news reader), the shoot has finished. The stress was stressful, but generally it was really good. I want to do another shoot and see how I cope with that before I make a full decision on what I want to do with my career. Hopefully I made a good impression, and I was told that I did. I practically managed all the costume department on my own, the only thing that I didn't have full control of was the design, but knowing that the production designer prefers sets and has no real interest in costume, maybe next time she'll give me more creative input. Its funny, as I have always said that I have no interest in designing, but I couldn't help thinking throughout what I would have done differently and how I would do things next time, so maybe I need to reconsider a bit.

Anyway, enough waffling.

<3 x

Anime / Manga: Ouran ep 23 / Watashi ni xx shinasai ch 14

NaNoWriMo

Here follows an extract of my attempts at convincing Elle to do NaNoWriMo this year.

Me: You best have started nano-ing today missus.

Me: Eleanor. Please tell me if you are nano-ing of not.

Me: Eleanor.

Elle: Shh classes.

Me: Eleanor.

Me: ... ARE YOU NANO-ING?

Elle: ...Ah nano no no no no - I have no story ideas no time and I haven't registered is it too late?

Me: You should write about the book you have to read, turn your reading and notes into a novel! ....

Elle: ... I'm not writing a story about pulling fur from cats etc its too upsetting.

Me: You could. .... Replace cat with drawer and fur with socks. Pulling socks from drawers isn't so upsetting, is it?

Elle: Okay your mind is strange ...


I amuse myself.


<3 x

Anime/Manga: Ouran Ep 16 / Watashi ni xx shinasai ch 14

The Film Starts ....

... and I'm scared.

We start shooting tomorrow, and even though I have been spending so much time preparing for it this week, I in absolutely no way feel adequately prepared. I have all my notes, I have my schedules, I have my breakdowns, I even managed to swipe a new script seen as the production assistant seems to have neglected to send me one even though I have pestered her for it (which, incidentally caused me to have to retype out a whole scene for the breakdown rather than just copy and pasting it over, which was work I could have done without) so I am as ready as I'll ever be, I think, but still. I think I'll feel happier when I can get all the costumes on a rail and sorted out into order, rather than just being told 'so and so will be wearing this' but having not yet seen anything.

It should be a good first day though, it seems quite an easy one to settle everyone in, as I think for a lot of the crew it will be their first time on a set. Its quite a short shooting day, with a call time of 2pm and wrap of 11.30pm, which would be awesome if not for the fact that the last train goes at 20 past and that the next day's call time is likely to be about 7 am. Joy.

They have said they may be hauling the crew in as extras, so I may get to be an actress yet. HA HA. Yeah, that's soooo likely.

I cant help but feel that I am forgetting something so stupidly obvious and awe inspiring huge, that when I remember it, which will undoubtedly be too late, I'll actually want to jump off a building because I'll be so frustrated and annoyed at myself, and everyone will shout at me and hate me for the rest of the shoot. Fingers crossed that doesn't happen, right?

Yes, by the way, in case you're wondering, I am writing this to try and talk myself out of a minor freak out.

I think I'll have to watch some teenie rom com anime to calm myself down. I don't know why these things amuse me so much when I would be disgusted with myself if they were live action.

<3 x

Anime/Manga: 39 (Ouran High School Host Club ep 3 / Watashi ni xx Shinasai ch 7)
Last Google Search: Apparently ever since I started adding this footnote in, I don't search anything amusing anymore, so I think I'll have to cut it out.

How Lovely

I just looked at my last post, and noticed this:

"I ignored all my previous uncertainty and emotionally vomited all over this blog."

I have such a way with words...

<3 x

Untitled ...

Maybe I shouldn't just spill my guts out online.

A few posts ago, you may remember that I was ummm-ing and ahhh-ing about how much of my own personal life I should put up here, how much I should display of myself when I don't really know who is reading this. The other day, in mid-meltdown, I ignored all my previous uncertainty and emotionally vomited all over this blog. For that, I apologise.


The reason I say this is that Elle called me yesterday, worried after having read my last post. I guess I just want to reiterate that I'm OK, I just needed to vent, and this blog is a good platform to do so. As far as I am aware, my only readers are two people who I trust completely and unconditionally, and so are more than likely to already know about anything I share on here prior to me posting it.

In other news, my shoot has just been extended by a week. I'm really not sure what to think about this, as having made up my mind to probably look into other career paths, the whole thing kind of feels a bit redundant. Not that I'm not trying my best and taking the experience for as much as I can, of course.

The main down side is nanowrimo. I want so much to be able to do it this year, but I just don't see how I'm going to manage it when I'll be so busy for the first two weeks of the month. I think what I'll have to do is spend the whole day thinking about what I'm going to write, planning it all out in detail, and then when I get home I can just blurt it all out in record time. I have decided I'm going to carry on my novel from last year, but where it was originally meant to be all one book, I'll leave last years where it is as part one completed, and make this years nano part two. That way I don't have to do much planning as I already know my characters, setting and general plot line. I know from last year that I can write 1000 words in an hour, so all I really need is a maximum of 2 hours writing time a day, which can be at bed time as I'm trying to wind down, and I should be able to make it. If I don't manage to keep up, at least I have the last two weeks to really pound it out to catch up, even if I have to sacrifice my social life during November and make caffeine and sleep deprivation my new best friends.

Winning last year was a huge buzz, and that was with only working part time for the last two weeks, so really I had so much writing time that I didn't fully appreciate then. I just think it will be so much more of an achievement to win this year, and I will be so proud of myself.

I hope this is inspiring you, Eleanor. If I can do it, so can you, and if we don't, then at least we have tried! Make sure you link me to your nano profile so I can keep track of you :-p. Mine is here.

OK, I think that's enough for today.

<3 x

Anime/Manga: 38 (Kaichou ep 18 / trying to find a new one)
Last Google Search: it's empty as my laptop was in 'professional' mode at the office, hand covering the smosh sticker at all times haha

My 1.1/5 Life Crisis

So I'm having issues at the moment.

I may have been told to, and I quote, 'think less ... and stop doubting everything', so this is my way of doing so. I'll pour my heart out on here and get it all of my chest.

Right, so here goes.

Career
To be frank, I don't really know why I am bothering. It seems to me that this career path I have chosen is a hell of a lot of work and hassle to get nothing in return but your name in the midst of a load of other people names that few people will read anyway. At the end of the day, this is not what I studied for three years at uni for, or even college. If I had known how to make contacts when I was 16, I could have done this job then, without the need to go to college or university, and now probably be in a healthier position financially as well as career wise than it is possible for me to be able to get to now. My degree was making costumes, and while I realise I have more talent in this aspect than the majority of people, I am by no means good enough to be able to call myself a professional or produce things to a professional standard.

My dream was always to be involved in films. This is where the whole of my career plan came from, the desire to somehow be part of that. I only choose the costume side of it because I was somewhat adequate at textiles at school and liked dressing up. Linked to that was my discovery of moviecostumes.org, an American website which has now either been closed down or taken over of one woman would make movie costume replicas to order, and believe me, these costumes were amazing. She stopped because she was fed up of hate due to her high prices and making the same few costumes over and over again. Anyway, I had always wanted to do this, and have harboured the idea in my heart for many years, but have always been too scared to properly make a go of it. My work isn't good enough to be able to make the costumes as perfect as I'll want them to be.

Basically, what I guess I'm trying to say is that I think I should give up. I cant afford to work 6 days a week and 14 hours a day for free. I cant afford to stubbornly hold on to making use of my degree when there is nothing I can legitimately and successfully do with it. I don't want to have to sacrifice my life for my work, which is what I would have to do if I did this full time. I wouldn't have time for friends, I wouldn't have time for family; my life would consist of get up, work, sleep, repeat. I don't want that. Maybe I should get a '9-5' normal job and be a normal person. Save up for houses and holidays and other things beginning with H. People have always told me to keep writing as a hobby, maybe I should do this with sewing as well.

Love
I'm not sure I'm really capable of this. I just find my self unable to feel anything.  I don't mean general love, I know I'm capable of that, after all I love my friends, my family, my cat and cake; but romantic love? I'm not sure. Every 'relationship' I have been in has been exactly the same; I like spending time with the person, we get on and all that, but something just isn't right, there's something quintessential missing, so I end it before the other person gets too involved.

I read an article on msn the other day, and it said something that really rang true to me. I cant remember the exact words, but it was something along the lines of 'not everybody is meant to be one half of a couple.' I think that's me. I'm far too independent and I enjoy being on my own too much to give myself over completely to someone else. My mother says that I just haven't met the right person yet, which may be true, after all, I know I'm still young, but 22 and never been in love? I have always thought that there are two types of people; the people who are always in relationships, jumping from one long term relationship to the next; and those who are always single, jumping from one long term spell of singledom to the next. I'm one of the latter. Maybe there is just something in me that makes me unsuitable to be in a relationship.

John Green's book 'An Abundance of Katherines' is about the main character coming up with a theorem regarding 'dumpers' and 'dumpees'. I know I'm a dumper, but I always used to think it was a fear of commitment. At the first sign of things getting serious, and I display man-like tendencies and leg it. Now, I'm starting to wonder if its more the fact that I'm just not girlfriend material. I don't feel comfortable in relationships because I'm better suited to being single. I'm not saying that this option is what I want, far from it, I want the husband/children/house/cat thing so much, but maybe I just have to accept the fact that this isn't going to happen for me.


I guess these are the two main things that are affecting me right now, and both are going to come under serious reconsideration after I have done this shoot. I'm sorry for venting out my heart on here, but you know, I do feel better for it.

<3 x

Anime/Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 17 / Faster than a Kiss ch 30)
Last Google Search: TRAIN STATIONS WALSALL (oooh all caps, she must not be impressed)

COOL

I more feel like I should blog than actually have something to share.

This week should have been good. My parents were away, so I had a completely free house to play in, and a list of things I wanted to do. But you know me, blog readers, I am nothing but awesome at procrastinating. Therefore, everything I had planned to do has only been half done, and now my parents are home tomorrow, so I wont have time to complete my aims unhindered. Bother.

I watched Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift this evening. Now, you know about my little all things Japanese obsession that I am entertaining at this moment in time, but you know, Japanese people are so cool.
OK, maybe not all Japanese people, but the cool Japanese people.
I mean, look at this guy. He is like so 'Yeah, I'm Japanese' and 'Yeah, I'm cool' and 'Yeah, I know it'. We can skip over the fact that he is also 'Yeah, I'm a pretty boy and increasingly lack masculinity the more you look at me.' I don't care. I like his hair.

Do you remember that hair product advert where the generic school boy and girl put on the gel or what have you and become super cool, and the teacher is like 'WTF'? Well, yeah, like that.

At this point, I feel like I should point out that when you google image 'cool Japanese guy', you don't get any cool Japanese guys, you get a load of weirdos, Hiro from Heroes, Jin from Lost who is in fact KOREAN, and Brad Pitt who is about as much of a Japanese cool guy as my father.

I fear I have written 'cool' too much in this post. Maybe I should use kakkoii instead.

Googling 'cool in Japanese' to check the above spelling brings up a Japanese Slang dictionary which informed me that 'Kono Kusoutare (このくそったれ)' means 'You have shit around your asshole', which is just lovely.

I think that's a good place to stop. This is a random post. Apologies. Goodbye.

<3 x

Anime/Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 14/Faster than a kiss ch 17)
Last Google Search: Cool in Japanese

Singapore

A close friend of mine is currently vacationing in Singapore. I never really understood why she decided to go there; although its a name I'm familiar with, I don't really know much about the country, and my assumptions were always less than positive. For example, I always assumed it was one of the poorer Asian countries, less developed than China or Japan, without much to draw people there.

However, I just googled it, and I have to admit, I'm surprised. Not only its it far more socially advanced than I had assumed, it is also far less cultural.

By this, I don't mean to imply for a second that Singapore doesn't have it own culture, but rather that its culture is much less Singaporean than I had imagined. Instead, from what I have read, it is a more a mix of British, Chinese, and Indian influences. Its main language is English, rather than its native Malay. In fact, over 42% of the population aren't even native to the country. For a country that has only been independent for 45 years, it doesn't seem that individual to me.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. I guess I just wanted to share my findings. Mostly, I'm surprised that she chose Singapore over Thailand. I know where I would rather go.

Singapore


Thailand

<3 x

Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 9, rereading Desire Climax ch 37)
Last Google Search: Singapore (no shit)

Three Parts

This post comes in three parts.

One
I finally have a start date for the three week film shoot in Birmingham! Its quite soon, and I have been warned that I'll need to hit the ground running, but I'm just so glad to finally have something solid to work towards. When I first was approached about this job, I was told they didn't have enough to provide pay or even expenses, but now they will cover expenses so this makes it even more exciting! I don't care that its unpaid at this time, as long as I get more work from it, and don't lose money, then its all good! Its the nature of the industry, unfortunately.

Two
My mother keeps giving me inappropriate 'talks'. Just because she is going away for the week, leaving me home alone, she seems to think I'm going to have wild parties filled with sex, drugs and burn down the house or something.
Does she not know me at all? Well ... to be fair, the burning the house down thing probably is a legitimate concern.
Seriously though, I'm not impressed with the whole 'don't do anything you'll regret' shizz she keeps spouting.

Three
I miss Elle.
I have had fajitas twice since she left, and both times they have paled in comparison to the awesomeness of The Elle and Heather Saturday Night Fun Times Fajita Floor Parties.
Also, I need new clothes and now feel unqualified to shop without her.
However, I cant blame her for wanting to be down there when she can EFFING WATCH PIRATES 4 BEING FILMED. I hope you managed to find costume and give them my number, Neilan.

That is all.

<3 x

Manga: 37 (Kaichou ep 9)
Last Google Search: Arjun and Alison (You should google this too)

BOO

I was just browsing the interwebs, checking the blogs that I have bookmarked, when I came across this post by the lovely Johnny Durham, who, despite his lack of internet presence over the past year, remains probably my all-time favourite youtuber. He is attempting BEDO, Blog EveryDay in October, so I have decided to go for BOO, or Blog Occasionally in October, as I know full well I will not manage everyday, but blog occasionally I can do. I managed very well with BOA. Not so much during September; I think I need a title to work to.

In other news, I was told to get a tumblr, so I did. I don't really get the whole thing, but I figure I'll use it for things too long to tweet, but not as personal as the things I put on this blog. Basically, here I just type whatever is on my mind and post, but on there I'll be a bit more self conscious.

<3 x

Manga: 37 (Watching Kaichou wa Maid-sama ep 9)
Last Google Search: Insect Superheroes

A Career Change

Now, we all know that my chosen career path is that of a costumier.

What few realise is that this wouldn't be my first choice, as before I decided to go with costume, I wanted to be a writer. However, I put this out of the question fairly early on because I decided that I could never make it as a successful author, it being too hard to get into and me being too sensitive to handle all the rejection.

What even fewer realise is that before costume, and before writing, I wanted to to be an actor. But again with the difficulty and rejection, I just decided to go with a more plausible option for my talent and circumstances.

When I say all of this, I don't mean that I have stopped wanting to be these things; far from it, I have just decided to focus my attention on to other, smaller, more realisable goals in order to obtain success rather than my idealistic dreams. So good job there, Heather, with that hugely successful career you have got right now.

Right, so over the past few weeks, as you may have realised in the 'footnote' to my posts, I have been re-reading some of my favourite manga. In my mind, I have been more and more tempted to re-read or re-watch Vampire Knight, this being my second-all-time-favourite. The night before last, I found the anime and watched the first episode in Japanese, before I discovered that it had finally been dubbed into English.

I whooped.

I tweeted.

I then found out that Zero was being voiced by Vic Mignogna, who voiced Fai in Tsubasa (my first-all-time-favourite), and the awesome metre in my head bounced off the charts.

So I sat down to watch it, with high expectations.

Vic's Zero was great, Kaname was passable, Yuki annoyed me.

It just seemed that the girl who was playing Yuki was just reading the script; there wasn't much feeling or sense of character in her words at all. I hate being critical of others work, but she really paled in comparison to the rest of the cast for me, which is so disappointing as she is the main character.

I understand that its probably a much harder job than it looks, but still, I could so do that. The whole reason I wanted to be an actor, even a writer, in the first place was as a form of escapism, to become someone else for a bit, live in another world to my own, but was put off somewhat by the whole being recognised thing. I wouldn't get that with voice acting, no one would ever know who I was unless they worked with me or what-have-you.

I'm just generally a bit of a drama queen. I like being someone else.

So, anyone know how to become a voice actor?

<3 x


Manga: 32 (Kaichou wa Maid-sama ch 26, re-reading Love Celeb ch 15, re-watching VK ep 5)
Last Google Search: Vampire Knight dub Vic Mignogna (I was checking the spelling)

A wee rant about the NHS and needles...

Today, I had to go have a blood test.

'OK, what of it?' you may be thinking. Well, I don't handle needles well. Plain and simple. I mean, I am better than I used to be, but I still struggle a lot and don't like them in the slightest.

So, I rocked up to my medical centre, having barely slept and dreamt during that little time about having needles thrust into the inside of my elbow, and after a short wait, went into the room and told the nurse I was feeling nervous. She tried to distract me by keeping me talking, but then every time my mind was diverted from the needle being thrust into my arm, she would bring my attention right back by telling me how well I was doing. I know she was just trying to be reassuring and supportive, but it did seem a bit pointless.

Lets say, hypothetically, after the nurse couldn't get any blood out of one arm, she decided to go for the other, but then the patient started to feel woozy and hot and everything went black and she had to lie down. Fine, nothing to say about that. But then, when the patient had started to feel better and the nurse had eventually managed to get the blood she needed, she sent the patient right home, without making her sit for a few minutes to make sure the wooziness and blackness didn't come back. Just seems a bit mean, really. Hypothetically, of course.

So anyway, now I have two pin-pricks on each arm, and the insides of my knees feel as weird as the insides of my elbows, which I am well aware is all in my head, but odd none the less.

'Happy Birthday' goes out to my two favourite (read: two only) readers, Elle and Inki. Hope you both had fantastic days!

<3 x

Manga: 32 (Kaichou Wa Maid-sama ch 18)
Last Google Search: Cygnett iPhone cover (on account of Rachey dropping and breaking mine when bringing me soup XD)

Remember Smosh?

As of late, Smosh videos have failed to amuse me as much as they used to. Not that they have 'lost it' or whatever, I mean, they still entertain me; I still avidly watch their videos, follow all three twitter accounts, wear their hoodie and regularly browse their website, but its been a while since I did more than smile to myself whilst watching Ian and Anthony's antics.

However, their last video had me laughing out loud. The sudden, out of nowhere but then cant stop type of laughing. Maybe I'm just immature (more than likely) but the end of that video felt like 'old smosh', and made me remember why I fell in love with that lovable duo in the first place about three years ago.

So from there, I started watching some of their old videos, namely the food battles. I found recent videos I had completely forgotten about, as I had watched them once and then never went back to watch them again. I googled quotes that I remember had amused me but couldn't remember where they were from.

This was all on Friday. Then, on Friday night/Saturday morning, I had a dream about Smosh.

This sounds a little freaky, but I should explain that I dream a lot, and more often than not its about something that has happened lately. So therefore watching smosh = dreaming smosh isn't that un-understandable. (Is un-understandable a word? Hmm maybe not. It is now.)

In my dream, I had won a competition to go to LA and hang out with the Smosh boys. Now dream-me and dream-smosh are well acquainted already, so it wasn't weird or awkward or anything, but this time I wasn't best friends with Ian's girlfriend. Anyway, Ian and Anthony lead me into a huge elevator with a load of other people in their apartment building (as their house in their videos is just a set or something) and when the doors closed, the whole thing started moving around. Think like the zero gravity bit in Inception, but a lot faster. Even dream-me thought it was a bit odd, but not unenjoyable. Other things happened, like I'm sure we all flew up the stairs to go in the zero-gravity-lift again, but it was a while ago now and you know what dreams are like, they slip out of your head faster than a fat kid eats cake.

Umm so moral of this post is, I still think smosh is epic.

<3x

Manga: 30 (kissxsis ch 33 & Futari ch 13)
Last Google Search: what do you think inks made out of? BEEF!

PS - I always had the impression that Anthony was the main Smosh guy, but Ian seems more to the fore-front now. Interesting ... OK, well probably not to anyone but me ...

The end of BEDA or whatever.

So that's that. August is over, and it is now well and truly September.

I don't think I did too badly on the BEDA thing. OK, I may have failed at BEDA, but BOA went quite well. I quite enjoyed blogging more frequently than once or twice a month, and may try to keep up with it in the future, primarily for selfish reasons. Its almost therapeutic to document your life, and while I may not be very good at it, or have a huge readership (I do believe I am currently on a grand total of 2), I will endeavor to proceed.

Maybe this way, I will feel more comfortable with sharing myself with others. My mother says Uni made me 'hard' and now I don't let anyone in anymore. I think to a certain extent she is right; I had to toughen up a lot while at university, as having no-one to rely on but yourself will do that to a person. But I wouldn't have said that those three years affected me that much until recently. I guess I'm a typical Gemini with the whole dual personality thing; I put up barriers to hide behind, and especially when someone new enters my life, I find it hard to let them past that facade. I'm struggling a lot with that now.

I feel like I have revealed too much now, so I'll leave this post there.

<3 x

Manga: 30 (Finally finished KP, although I think it was messed up and a load missed out because the end made no sense. Don't know what to start on now though)
Last Google Search: Dengeki Daisy ch 25

Deep, yo.

I'm never really sure how much to put on this blog. I'm well aware that anyone who reads this can be divided into two groups. My closest friends, or people that randomly have come across this blog and haven't got a clue who I am. More likely the first.

Part of me likes to use this blog as a diary; I write things on here to get them off my chest and because I like to. But then again, I am also afraid of putting my soul online for potentially the whole world to see. How deep do I go in exposing myself?

As of yet, the things I have written on here are the things I would share with anyone.
My current love of manga and anime is something anyone who is close to me is fully aware of, not being ashamed to own a lot of supermarket clothes, wanting to finish my book, but being just too good at procrastinating; All useless bits of trivia about me that doesn't really reveal too much about who I actually am.

But my hopes and dreams, my fears and desires? I'm not too sure.

To put yourself out there, so exposed, would make one very vulnerable, and I think it takes someone very brave to be willing to sacrifice themselves to the online world.

I don't know whether I'm that strong.

Writing it is fine. Having people read it is a different matter.

<3

Manga: 29 (KP ch 65 & rereading Black Bird ch 7)
Last Google Search: xxxholic ch 207

Realisations

Today I have realised a lot. Here is a list of my realisations.

1) The point when you cant keep your head level in the shower due to the weight of your hair means its probably time to get it cut.
2) I like this boy more than I thought I did. I was really disappointed at having to cancel on him this evening.
3) Someone, specifically my father, saying 'all dressed up with nowhere to go' does not help said disappointment.
4) I am an awesome friend. My oldest friend falls flat on her face in the mud, literally tied to a branch because her jeans got tangled into it that much, and all I can do is laugh. I haven't really stopped laughing about it, and it was like 6 hours ago. I even took a photo.
5) No matter how sensible you think you are being with your choice of footwear, it is inevitable that while walking in the rain in woodlands, your jeans will get muddy.
6) I still don't really like chips, even with brand new oil.
7) LM art is so much nicer than KP art.
8) I don't seem to understand the shift key, and when to use it. I keep pressing shift to type numbers.
9) I'm horrible to my parents when I'm hormonal.
10) When I say I'm going to do something on this blog, chances are I wont. Namely the novel thing. Oops.
11) I'm rather forgetful. I had a lot more realisations to tell you about before I started writing this.

I think that's enough revelations for today.

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch 56 & Love Monster ch 19)
Last Google Search: Esther Earl (DFTBA & RIP)

Kaltx'l

Even though I know that people, or should I say 'one person', reads this, its still comes as somewhat of a surprise to me when someone says they have read my blog, or mention something that I have only talked about on here.

Like earlier today, it took me a good minute or so to realise that Inki knew I had being buying a lot of clothes from Tesco lately due to yesterdays post, not because she is some scary stalker person who knows my every move at any given time.

Well, to be fair ...

Today, I did some designs (whoop) at work, packaged and addressed them all ready to send. then forgot to take the package into town with me. Fail.

I failed a lot today, like when I carried in to work with me £174 in small change, but didn't take my paying in book, which I had filled out etc, so couldn't not use it. So then, I had to cart it all back home, just to take it back into town again. Which was when a fore mentioned package incident occurred. Major fail.

I mean, that much change is heavy, people! I had to change bags because I wasn't sure my usual one was up to the strain!

Other than that, nothing else of incident has happened. I ate two chocolate bars and a chocolate sponge pudding with custard without going over my calorie limit; discussed my fathers feet in detail with Polson; made up a giant killer caterpillar, made him happy, then killed him off; and learnt how to greet someone in Na'vi.

Same old, same old.

I just realised my mother has been undressing Eddy again. She really doesn't like it when he wears stuff.

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch 52 & Love Monster ch 12)
Last Google Search: royal mail postage prices

Fashion

There is little worse than walking into a shop and then looking down and realising you are wearing head to toe clothes from that shop.

The only thing that can possibly be considered worse is being in Tesco when this occurs, with the people around you, both staff and customer alike, very aware that you look like you live in the supermarket and just dress yourself straight from the shelves.

This happened to me today. Don't get me wrong, Tesco clothes, and in fact most supermarket fashions, are normally very good, with the latest fashions at very reasonable prices, but nothing says I cant afford new clothes more than rocking up to a midnight trip to Tesco in Tesco shorts, Tesco tights and Tesco cardigan. Oooh and Tesco knickers. In fact I do believe the only thing I was wearing that wasn't Tesco was my bra. Score.

Other than the above, today went well. I spent the whole day cleaning my room, then went for a walk as part of the exercise and shit thing. The writing thing didn't really happen. Nor the designing thing. I just figured I have work tomorrow morning, I can do it all then.

Why do today what one can do tomorrow, right?

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch 51 & Love Monster ch 7 *)
Last Google Search: Nurse Costumes (Don't ask)



*Kaikan is boring me somewhat, and I had an urge to reread LM, so I am. Okay, well mostly just wanted to read chapter 3, but figured I would go ahead and read all of it :D

Inspirations

So I think its fair to safely say I am failing at the whole BEDA thing. I did warn you that my life wasn't interesting enough to pull it off!

So today I went to Lacock Abbey, which was where they have filmed a heap of stuff, most notably the first two Harry Potter films. It was such a lovely place, and I know this sounds so stuck up, but it really inspired me to start work again on my nanowrimo novel.

I have never revealed much about my novel, but one of the main settings in the book is an old abbey that has been converted into a manor house, and Lacock was literally exactly how I imagined that abbey. I now have two real life locations for the two main places in my novel! So now when I finish the bones and come to editing, I have a more solid base to portray my setting, which I find very exciting! Not only that, but it lead me to re-evaluate some plot points I had been having trouble with, and now I have new ideas and new directions to go in ...

Right now, I'm feeling more upbeat about this book than I have for a long time!

I don't know why, but that makes me feel like such a real author; you know, writing what I know and utilising my influences and all that jazz, which also helps with the upbeatedness (if that's even a word, and I'm pretty sure its not, but oh well).

So, tomorrow being a Monday, I intend to get back into writing at least something every day. I am also intending to maintain the diet and exercise and shit, do better on the drinking more water, do some work on both designs and my business, and do some cleaning. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

Something has just occurred to me. This blog is nothing more than an overly wordy to do list.

Fantastic.

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch. 47 *this is a bloody long manga*)
Last Google Search: Beckii Cruel

Backwards

Last Google Search: Asphyxia (cheerful, no?)
Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch. 28)

<3 x

I am writing this post backwards purely because I don't know what to blog about.

Like normally, I have at least some idea on what to focus a post upon, whether its work, or cake, or manga. But today, not so much.

Diet is going well, exercise and shit is going well; life is generally okay at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm still all but unemployed and struggling etc, but the sun is shining so I guess its hard to not feel a little bit good about life today.

Although I should really clean my room at some point.

I saw The Sound of Music last night, starring Connie Fisher from 'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria'. It was really good, and she was excellent as Maria, but then again, I always thought she would be. The thing that impressed me most though was some of the costume changes. They were fast.

One highlight was when we were stood outside, and I was singing 'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria' and Zoe said 'unfortunately they don't sing that in this musical.' I stared at her til she realised what she had said.

Silly girl.

Like on Monday when she was telling me that she was going to do the slimfast diet, but keep eating everything like normal, like there was a magic ingredient in slimfast that makes you thin. I had to explain to her that slimfast works but replacing food, all that would happen if you supplemented your normal diet with it is that you would get fatter, and probably quite quickly.

Ok I think Im done.

Hello

Diet started today

Myself and Zoe decided last week that starting today, we would be on a health kick. Meaning we would try to be healthy, not kick healthy things, or indeed healthy people, as that would be mean and somewhat uncalled for.

Now, those that know me know that in my book, a diet is slimfast. Being healthy means replacing food with milkshake and drinking more water. Although this time I'm also doing exercise.

Exercise.

Like exercising and shit.

I don't normally do the whole exercise thing, mainly because I'm too lazy. I have been known to do a fair amount of exercise DVDs, but when you have no private space to do it in anymore because your father will pretty much always be around, you sort of loose your enthusiasm. I am not a strong enough swimmer to count that as exercise, and I probably walk too slow to do for any walking I do to count as such. Despite this, I am going to try and be good and do at least something every day.

Today was walking, specifically around the lakes. On a nice day like today, it felt more like a nice day out than anything else, and I burned over 300 cals. Score!

Although I do think I'm coming off as a bit of a slave driver to Zoe. I'm keeping a food diary for her, and threatening her with punishments if she exceeds her target calorie intake. Oh well :)

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch 22)
Last Google Search: Sticklebricks

Rainy days

I don't really know what to write today.

Rainy days always seem to damper my spirits somewhat. I guess everyone is the same. Not that I don't like rain, that is. I like rain; I like its smell, I like watching the raindrops splash into puddles, I like lifting my face up with my eyes closed, I like to stand in it when its really heavy just for a few seconds, and then go back inside to where its warm and dry.

Or rather, I like to think I do.

More likely, I'm grumbling at the sky for having the sheer audacity to start leaking on me, and avoiding doing anything I should be doing by using a little bit of water as an excuse. Which is never a good idea. I mean, come on, I live in England, I should be used to it by now.

I saw Elle today. It had been a week, and I had missed her. Despite this, I still managed to forget her tack and postcard. I put them on top of my bag as well; I really don't know how I managed to leave them behind. It's a skill I guess.

<3 x

Manga: 29 (Kaikan Phrase ch 16*)
Last Google Search: Doctor Horribel (FAIL)



* I have decided to bracket what manga I'm reading too, as a sort of document for me. I know you dont care.

Ahem...

So lets just pretend that me not blogging for pretty much a whole week whilst trying to partake in BEDA never happened, okay?

To be fair, though, I was away. Without reliable Internet connection. And quite frankly, the urge to blog, as who I expect to be my only reader was with me.

We had an awesome time. We went to Scarborough to collect my work from uni, and have a mini break whilst doing so.

Uni was shit, they lost half of one of my costumes, and the rest were separated and everywhere but where they were meant to be. I feel so sorry for the girl who I graduated with that has taken over being the tec there; she has such a huge job ahead of her trying to sort out that excuse for a college.

For the rest of the time, we primarily ate sugar, played in sand (namely digging holes) and wasted money in the arcades.

It. Was. Awesome.

It was good to spend time with the girls. I know that sounds stupid, because I spend a lot of time with them anyway, but I don't know, just being together doing stupid stuff like digging a massive hole, and late night talks about random crap, was just really good. I love those girls so much, it was just nice to reconnect a bit. Especially in a place where the vast majority of my happy memories feature their few visits rather than the rest of those three years.

I fear it severely lacked tea, as I only had maybe three or four cups during the whole three days away, but the lack of caffeine was more than made up for my the amount of sugar. I don't think I have come down off the sugar high yet, and its been like two whole days.

Other things have been going on too, but I don't know how personal I want this blog to be yet, so I'll hold off on all that jazz for a bit.

<3 x

Manga: 29
Last Google search: Churchill car insurance

This post is to tell you ...

... that I'm too tired to blog today.

Will get better from next week(ish).

Promise.

<3 x

Manga: 26
Last Google Search: *It's empty :-O*n

Crap

Not so much with the blogging over the past two days. I'm so shit.

Its OK, nothing important has happened anyway.

Unless you count me having three cups of tea at work today, that was pretty important to me.

<3 x

Manga: 26
Last Google Search: best flash game ever

Guess what?

Guess what?

Its quarter to midnight again and I have just remembered I haven't blogged yet. Awesome. I can see this whole BEDA thing turning out to be me rushing to blog on time, and as a result posting random crap that has no merit whatsoever. Yay.

I though I feel remembering at quarter to midnight two nights in a row is rather impressive.

Lets think, anything exciting happen today? Well, no. I went to work, I got out my sketchbook, I put it away again after looking at it for a while. I went home for lunch and didn't have slimfast but spaghetti and cheese, which is rather notsome for the diet thing. And I had a pint of Pepsi Max again instead of 2 litres of water. I really do suck.

On the plus side though, I am keeping up with my calorie counter on my iPhone, not that its inspiring me much, and a boy just called me awesome :)

In other news, I have been feeling rather chipper lately. You know you are feeling happy when you use a word like chipper. No reason why, I just have. Well I guess a boy calling me awesome maybe has something to do with it.

Although when I act happy in front of my parents, they get all freaked out and want to know whats wrong with me. So that's always good.

<3 x

Manga: 26
Last Google Search: How to make a cloning machine (What? It might come in handy)

Speedy

OK so its quarter to midnight and I just remembered I had not blogged yet, which I think is fair to expect a lot of in the next month, if you are lucky enough to get a post at all, so here goes.

What can I talk about today?

Well work was busy busy this morning, which is surprising for my work at any rate. I don't think I ever had to cross call people (as in call one, then call another, and then call back the first one) in all 4 or 5 summers I have done holiday cover at the office previous to this summer, so that's impressive.

I even managed to make time to do some design work, albeit not very much. But so far, not bad.

The diet; not so good. Drinking water; also not so good. Which probably explains my headache right now, actually.

Must. Try. Harder. Tomorrow.

Short and sweet. I think I'll leave it at that.

<3 x

Manga: 26
Last Google search: Gluey

BEDA

So, I was totally going to do BEDA (Blog Every Day in August) this year ... except I forgot the first day.

Failing before I have even started ... I have hit new heights, people.

Maybe I'll start a new trend, BEODA (Blog Every Other Day in August), or rather more likely BOA (Blog Occasionally in August). I could even shorten it to BO (Blog Occasionally) and be on the path to success already.

Now I think about it, I don't really have an interesting enough life to blog everyday. The only reason I decided I wanted to do it was because I miss writing, and I don't really feel the motivation to work on my nano novel. Which I do want to get completed before November, by the way.

Ok, some updates.

Since the 25th June, when I was feeling a bit lost after having finished Vampire Knight, I have read 21 Mangas, which totals my ... um ... total to 26. Maybe I'll do a little tally at the end of blog posts a la Kristina Horner and her burritos. Oooo and the google search bar thing, because I do that a lot too and it amuses me.

Me and Elle found out bread is better at Morrisons than Sainsburies, Pepsi Max keeps every ones caffeine based needs happy, and to NEVER buy own brand Soft Cheese.

Me and Elle also fished a lot and found Elle some very amusing guys to talk to. She has progressed from not having anything to do with messaging them, to doing so almost completely unsupervised (read; ALMOST). Also, we made fajitas and again couldn't manage more than two. We have fallen so much.

I met a boy. I got upset. I got a call off Inki from far off lands. I felt better.

We went to the beach. We have plans to go again, but in the opposite direction. E X C I T E D.

Oh, and about the theory from last post that I would be more productive, needless to say, I failed. I think at everything; the diet went balls up, I didn't drink anything (maybe) and I definitely didn't do any work. Sigh.

I have this thing that I have to start new things on Mondays, so tomorrow (well, today, but its still yesterday because I haven't been to sleep yet*) I will do better. Diet, water, work, everything.

But now, it is nearly 1am, and I need to have a shower before bed so I don't have to get up early to do it. But I cant really be bothered.

In fact, this whole post was purely a procrastination. Awesome.

<3 x

Manga- 26
Last Google search - uninhabited islands off Hawaii for sale

*Yeah, I'm confused too.

Predictions of success (may include failure)

I suck at being productive.

Two or so weeks ago, I wrote myself a timetable to try and rectify this. It involved 2 hours designing a day, 2 hours on business a day, 2 hours writing a day, 2 hours of chores a day, all spaced out in a way that made it easy stick to. I also planned to restart a diet, and drink two litres a day to try and stop my constant headaches.

The first week, I sucked at doing anything on my timetable or drinking two litres, but managed to stay on track with the diet.

The second week, which is this week, I sucked at doing anything on my timetable, but managed to stay on track with the diet and the drinking two litres.

Therefore, taking into account the previous results, it is fair to assume that next week, I should be able to keep up with my timetable no problem! Score!


In other news ... TO THE BEACH!!

I say this a lot, as a sort of 'lets go' thing, but for once, it's finally going to be true!!

I am r i d i c u l o u s l y EXCITED

<3 x

Now what?

Hello.

So I thought I would give an update on how my little manga/anime obsession is going, seen as how I haven't mentioned it since I finished reading Tsubasa.

I had mentioned on 17th May that ''I might rewatch the Tsubasa anime, or start xxxholic or Chobits, or other some other anime/manga''. In the past month and a bit, I read xxxholic, and watched the 2 anime seasons and extra bits and pieces. I read Chobits, and attempted to watch the anime, but wasn't sold. I have just finished reading and then watching Vampire Knight. Along with all of this, I have been simultaneously rewatching the subbed version of Tsubasa.

I loved Vampire Knight. So now I'm feeling the same sort of thing that I felt when I had just finished Tsubasa. When you come to the end of something that you really enjoy, its always a bit bitter sweet. Like Harry Potter, or Twilight. I suppose I have a condolence in Vampire Knight in that it is still ongoing, unlike Tsubasa.

I post things on here somewhat haphazardly. I don't really plan them, I just stick them up when a tweet isn't long enough and I want to get something off my chest. So I guess the point of this post is that I don't know what to read/watch next. Last time, I sort of had a plan, whereas this time, I do not. I guess I'll just close my eyes and pick something, or else make my way through the top 50 list on onemanga.com.

My backspace key keeps sticking. Its very annoying. What with my 'i' rarely working as well, my laptop seems to be very very slowly breaking. I know it could be worse.

OK, that's all.

Goodbye.

<3 x

New Addition to the Family

A few years ago, I adopted a young lady I refer to fondly as Pinhead.

A few days ago, I adopted another young lady I am going to name Thistlehead.

I put them in their room facing each other so they could get to know each other. I think they are getting along well, and I'm sure we will all be very happy together.

My building a business week by week book came yesterday. Week one says to buy stationary, which I'm quite excited about, and clear a work space. Week two says to work out the meaning of life. I like this book.

Ooo and also, I talked to my mum about the business thing. Now she realises it isn't going to be the be-all-and-end-all of my career, but more like a while-I-haven't-got-anything-else-to-do-why-not-give-it-a-try, I think she is feeling happier about it. I may be wrong, and she has just decided to give up, but either way! I can get started on making things!

By the way, Pinhead and Thistlehead are dressmakers mannequins.

<3x

PS - I worry that the red and orange fish at the bottom of this page bully the yellow one.

Sigh.

Lately, I have been entertaining the thought more and more of setting up my own business. I first had the idea while at Uni, but never really thought much on it. Then, a few weeks ago, my auntie suggested to me a way out of my career slump was to 'get more arrows for your quiver' and to broaden my market. So, like doing another course or teacher training, etc. From then on, I started to think I could set up a little Internet based business, selling custom made costumes and whatnot, and be able to fit it around any other commitments I have, whether it be work or otherwise. Anything I get from it will be profit, as I would have to put very little money into in the first place, literally just the domain cost and maybe some advertising.

I have spoken to many people about this. My friends were fantastic (I love you guys for cheering and clapping when I need you to). Random boys said I should go ahead. Even a friends mother was supportive and enthusiastic. My own, on the other hand, has not been.

OK, so she is entitled to her opinion, and if she doesn't think that its the best course of action, then that's fair enough. What really pisses me off is that she complains that I don't talk to her about what I'm working towards, when if I do, all I get is criticism, and not even the constructive sort. Which leaves me less likely to want to talk about it with her in the future. Which means she hasn't got a clue about whats going through my head, how much I have thought about this. Which will piss her off because she doesn't have any control over it.

I am doing this. I'm not saying it will be my career, its more like another option. But I'm suffocating here. I need my Independence.

I'm sorry for posting this all up here. No one wants to read this. But I guess I kind of see this like a dairy, a way to get the stuff I cant talk about out loud of my chest. So sorry, and feel free not to read anymore.

<3x

Visit Japan!

Me - I really want to go to Japan. Fancy coming too?

Elle - I heard they have black widows there, which scares me a little.

Me - They also have over 100 active volcanoes, regular earthquakes and a very high suicide rate.

Elle - Suicide? But I thought Japan was a happy place.

Me - Apparently the Japanese don't think so. I guess its all the volcanoes, earthquakes and deadly spiders.

Elle - Wow loving your hard sell here, Miss B. Japan is seeming more attractive by the minute.


<3 x

NOT ABOUT CCS OR TSUBASA

... This post is lamenting the end of LOST.

I have been hooked on this show for 6 years. From September 2004 until Monday morning, I always knew that I had another episode to look forward to. This is no more.

I watched the very first episode eagerly after seeing the frankly amazing Channel 4 UK promo, where the characters were dancing amidst the wreckage of a plane on a beach. To begin with, I was just mildly intrigued. Then I saw Dominic Monaghan, with whom I had exercised a mild obsession with ever since Lord of the Rings, and I knew then that I wouldn't miss this show for the world.

The first two seasons were aired on terrestrial TV, and so I would watch each episode at least 4 times, taking full advantage of E4's First Look and +1. Then it went to Sky, and I discovered advert free Lost, which was even more amazing.

I dubbed myself a Lost Loser, and have stuck to that ever since. I enjoy Lost themed music more than current music. I read Lost reaction blogs. The numbers are etched into my head for all eternity. I even have two Lost related t-shirts, even if one now only says 'ost ser' as various letters have worn away. Even though it got very ridiculous towards the end, it has still remained my favourite TV show of all time, and I doubt that will change any time soon. I'm a firm believer that no matter how many times you see an episode of Lost, every single time you will find some new meaning, notice something you haven't noticed before. Also, retrospect will be an interesting point.

However, the finale was not as good as I had hoped. Yes it was sad, and yes, it tied up all the important loose ends nicely, but to me, it cant compare with the previous season finales. I felt sad, I hugged my pj's, I fangirled and reminisced over the characters who reappeared after having died a long time ago, but did I cry? Like properly tears-rolling-down-cheeks-and-sobbing-uncontrollably crying? No.

I wanted to mourn the end of my favourite TV show by being inconsolable for at least half an hour.

None the less, I look forward to buying the DVD box set and watching the whole series again and again. And again.

<3x

Statistics

I just wanted to share this.

I have watched 197 episodes and three movies of Cardcaptor Sakura and Tsubasa combined from the 18th March to 6th May. That is a total of 101 hours and 45 mins in exactly 50 days.

I have read 233 chapters of Tsubasa from 6th May to 17th May. I dont know how many hours it took me, but in 11 days, it was a lot.

<3 x

The end of an era

So, I just came on here to feed my fish at the bottom of the page (Yes I know they aren't real, I have a lot of free time, okay?) and thought I would document the fact that I have finished Tsubasa.

According to this blog, I started Cardcaptors on the 18th March, watched all of that series and the movies dubbed, and then again subbed, and then moved on to Tsubasa, and then I read the manga. Right at the beginning of that journey, I had watched the first episode of Tsubasa, and had made myself watch all of Cardcaptor Sakura before watching it again. That's one day short of TWO WHOLE MONTHS in which the majority of my spare time has been devoted to emersing myself in the CLAMP (the authors) multiverse. Now I'm feeling a little bit lost. Its like Nanowrimo all over again; you spend a huge amount of time devoted to one thing, and then when its over, it leaves you feeling at a bit of a loose end.

Not that there isn't plenty of things I could, or rather should be doing. I have designs to do for the TV show, research to do into setting up my own business, hell, I could even actually finish my nano novel.

Or I might rewatch the Tsubasa anime, or start xxxholic or Chobits, or other some other anime/manga.

I'm not too good with that productivity thing.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what my final impression was of Tsubasa (lets face it, you aren't, but I'm going to tell you anyway) I loved it. Parts were so heart-breakingly sad to the point that I was in tears for entire chapters, namely Fai and Kurogane's back stories. Other parts were so funny that I was laughing out loud, such as Fai, Sakura and Syaoran getting drunk to the point that Fai and Sakura were pretending to be cats, and Syaoran was convinced a ladle and then his gloves were his sword. Yes, it got crazily confusing towards the end, but I think it explained it in the end perfectly well, you just had to be patient. But mostly, I enjoyed the mis-en-scene of it (yay for utilising my A level in media studies). The character design and costumes were amazing. If only I had that amount of creative talent.

I really wish they would restart the anime, because it seems such a shame that they have left the main part of the story untold in that media, and I find the fight sequences so much easier to understand in anime rather than manga form.

I also wish that I had a spare £150 + lying around so I could buy the books and the DVD's, but no such luck!

<3

PS- I have just read through this post, and YES, I FULLY APPRECIATE HOW MUCH OF A LOSER I SOUND. But hey, it makes me happy.

I need to blog more often ... TL;DR

I have been meaning to post something on here for a while, but didn't really have anything new to say. Then I realised this is my blog; a place where I can write about what is going on in my life and what is important to me at this moment in time.

So that's what I'm going to do.

In my head, there are always two thing that are at the forefront of my mind and most important to me (not counting family, obviously*). The first is my obsession of the moment. The other is adventure playgrounds.

Let me explain the latter. When I was little, we used to pass this really cool looking playground on the way to my Gran's house, and every time we passed it, I would say 'Can we go there one day?'. The response was always 'Maybe, one day.' I don't remember ever going there. Therefore, I have always had an insatiable love for playgrounds.

Last week, when I was staying in Yeovil with my sister, we went for a walk at Nine Springs, and there, we came across the most awesome playground I have ever been in!

So, there was a pirate ship, a swing thing, a weighing thing, a swirly thing, and all sorts of other cool things.

Have some photos.

The weighing thing was really depressing at first, because it was weighted on one side, so whoever was on that side looked a lot heavier. Obviously, this side was the one I went on. Then we swapped, so my sister was on the heavy side, and it made us equal. At the time, I was appeased. I don't know why though; it still meant I was heavier!

I love how in the back of that picture, you can see my sister's boyfriend quite obviously really wanting a go on the seesaw horsey thing. He obviously thought someone should act grown up, what with my sister and I running around giggling like 5 year olds, and my dad sat in the train thing.

The swirly thing you sat in, and then the other person pulled it around so you went upside down and right over. If you closed your eyes, you could pretend you were in a washing machine.

So yeah, it was awesome. Split my jeans though.


In my last post, I said 'So now, I'm on to Tsubasa. I have read up a lot on how confusing this is going to turn out to be, and how the anime doesn't make any sense whatsoever...'. Having finished the anime, I just wanted to say how I got on.

It ended much quicker than i had thought, as I was expecting basically four series; Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle with two seasons, followed by Tokyo Revelations and then Shunraiki. So I got to the end of series 2, which was just starting to get really interesting, to find out that the Tokyo Revelations and Shunraiki weren't so much seasons, as 'specials' (OVA's). By this point, I kind of knew what was going to happen, due to my annoying habit of researching ahead of myself, so I didn't really understand how the story could get through all of what was to come in what turns out to be 5 episodes.

It didn't.

I didn't feel too lost, having not read the manga, but I think you need to appreciate that the two seasons are separate from the two OVA's, which were more like extras for fans of the manga. Tokyo Revelations went back to half way through season 2, and went along the manga's plot rather than its own little deviation, so you have to imagine half a season didn't happen. Shunraiki is even more confusing in that it jumps ahead, assuming that you have read the manga to know where the story has been. Its like a series that has been axed, and the OVA's are Easter eggs on the special edition DVD.

Really, I think it was an excellent marketing tool. You get hooked on the anime, and then when it stops, giving you tantalising hints of whats going to happen, you go out and buy the manga, just to keep the story from ending.

Too bad for Clamp you can read it all online. Which is what I'm doing right now!

Okay, I think I should stop writing now. Congratulations if you have made it to the end. Wasn't really worth it, was it?

<3 x

* My friends count as my family - some more so than my actual family.

Procrastination

Having just updated the Cake Brigade Blog, I thought I would come over here and talk about none cake related things for a while.

So updates! I have finished on Cardcaptors, both American and Japanese versions with accompanying movies. I have to say, that I enjoyed the Japanese Version much more than I expected to. The whole Sakura/Syaoran storyline was so lovely, and its such a shame that the American version completely cut it out. Don't get me wrong, I understand why, it wouldn't have appealed to the demographic they were going for, but still, it really made you connect with the characters so much more!

Right now, I am very much of the opinion screw Team Edward, Team Syaoran all the way!

So now, I'm on to Tsubasa. I have read up a lot on how confusing this is going to turn out to be, and how the anime doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but at the moment, I'm really enjoying it. Different incarnations of some familiar characters, but I'm still TEAM SYAORAN.

Is it weird that I have a new found appreciation of music in Japanese?


In other news, I'm on a Slim-Fast diet. I'm not doing it how you are meant to; 2 shakes, 3 snacks or whatever, but I don't care, its working for me. I have one shake for lunch, and then my evening meal. So far, my weekends have let me down, but still, I haven't put on weight, and am very slowly losing it from what my infrequent weigh-ins tell me. I feel that Slim-Fast is a great way of character building, because it doesn't half take some will power. So therefore, so far, success!

I'm going to Leeds for a production meeting on Monday, which should be good. Right now, I'm procrastinating for doing some designs to prep for it, as my inability to illustrate what is in my mind is driving me crazy. I have been trying to do one design, one episode of Tsubasa to keep me going, but its just so frustrating, that I'm going to wait until its later and I'm nearly asleep. I used to do that at uni, because it would loosen me up, and also mean I wouldn't care as much, so its a win win. I just want so much to do well at this, but its so hard.

Some people have a talent in drawing. I am not one of those people.

<3 x

Im turning into an Anime

Yesterday, I finished watching 'Cardcaptors', the English Dub. That was 70 episodes in a week and a half.

Today, I watched the two movies; again, the English Dubs.

Next, I intend to watch the whole series and the movies again, but in Japanese with English Subs, as I gather the story is highly edited in the dubbed versions from the originals. Apparently, here in the west, we cant deal with homosexuality and children falling in love*.

Then, I'll read the Manga.

Repeat above process with 'The Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles'.

Something happened today that made me realise how far my little obsessions leak into my everyday life. I found myself doing this when telling my mother some random snippet of information.


Oh well.

<3 x

*Edit: Okay, fair enough, here in the west we cannot handle paedophilia.

CardCaptors and The Cake Brigade

Wind, rain, shadow, wood,
Sword, thunder, power, sleep
Cardcaptors of the clow,
Expect the unexpected now!
The secrets of the clow,
Were all a mystery.
But when this mighty book was opened,
The powers were set free.
Cardcaptors!
A mystic adventure!
Cardcaptors!
A quest for all time!

(................................ I edited the Theme song ................................)

I used to love this show when I was younger, and today, I have spent my afternoon rediscovering this love :)

My sister always used to make fun of me for liking Li, but now I'm thinking Tori is pretty hot, actually. You know, for a cartoon and all.

I love all the costumes. These sorts of things, anime and all that jazz, are always so inventive with their design. How cool would it have been to have school uniforms like that? Well, actually, I bet if that had been the case, it would have been really embarrassing. Not to mention somewhat inappropriate. I mean, look at the length of those skirts!?! Having said that, have you seen school girls skirt lengths lately? When I was that age, we all wore our skirts down to our knees! Wow, now I know I'm old.

Moving on, I guess I just wanted to link anyone who may be reading this to the Cake Brigade blog. My friends and I make cakes in our spare time cos we are all old women. We may set up a knitting club for when the cakes are baking. That's a joke. I doubt any of my friends can knit.

I will get it up to date as soon as Cake Brigade Member Polson gets round to sending me the photos of our previous creations. So for now, just keep an eye on it.

In other news, I can request my first payment now for doing the surveys! Its from Ciao, and its not much so I figure I'll let it build up some more first, but still, its exciting! I got money for sitting on my laptop!

Ooo and I also got £20 off my sister by letting her rummage in my wardrobe, so what with the alterations I did for my aunt, and the decorating I have been booked to do at my Gran's house next week, things aren't looking so none existent on the money front anymore. Yay!

<3 x

Heather here, with an update!

Now let me see, where did I leave you, blog?

Ah yes, I was aiming to be more productive. Well, my progress on the productivity front has been interesting to say the least.

1) STOP SPENDING MONEY
This has been a bit hit and miss, as I have been making a conscious effort, but sometimes, when we go on midnight road trips to tesco, I like, you know, get hungry.
So other than that, I have done okay ... but March is a hard month for me. Lots of birthdays, mothers day etc etc.
So we will just leave that at that.

2) DETOX
Hahahahahahahahaha. That was never going to happen.

3) MAKE MONEY
This one I have made progress on!! I am signed up to two different online survey sites, and probably get offered one every few days. I went for Panelbase.net, and ciao-surveys.co.uk in the end, and get more emails from ciao, even if they do pay less. Still, its slowly building up! I might sign up for some more, then hopefully when I get a pay out, it will be more.
The eBay thing isn't going so well. I'm having issues selling my first item, which I put up as a test run, so want to do that all the way through before I put anything else up. Its been re listed, and the price lowered, so look here if you so wish.

4) STOP WASTING MY DAYS
See 2)

On the plus side, I have just this minute finished 20 designs for the web series, which is awesome, so going to send them off now, and have spent the day listening to the genius that is ALL CAPS, The Oceanic Six and The Ministry Of Magic. I LOVE NERDY MUSIC XD

Ooooo and I made a bag! Like a proper clutch one with a frame. It was for a present, and I didnt take a picture, but I was pretty happy with it! For a first attempt anyway, and it was good enough to give away, so that cant be bad! I need to make my sister one for her birthday on sat, so Ill try to get photographic proof of that one to put up. The site I got the stuff from, and all the hints and tips was fantastic, so if you should ever feel inclined to make a bag, I would definatley recommend u-handbag. *and they send you sweets with your order :)*

<3 x

Resolutions

You may remember a few posts ago I told you about how I always have to have a 'to do' list. Well, I do, and this time I have decided I need to share it in the hope it will inspire me to actually achieve my aims, rather than keep putting them off until the next day, which is what I have been doing a lot lately.

I know what you are thinking. There is probably only one person, beside me, who reads this, so its not like I'm really sharing it with the world.

However, I am remembering how posting my word count on the Nanowrimo site kept me going through November, even though I knew that no one even knew I was doing it and I didn't really have any pressure, apart from what I had placed on myself, to complete it. I call it the Nano Effect. Therefore, I am hoping this will keep me going in this case.

So, here goes.

1) MUST STOP SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY.
The only money I have coming in at the moment goes to paying the rent. Everything else I spend is coming straight from my account, which is already overdrawn by a considerable amount. To be frank, I need as much money as possible if I have to go to Leeds for this job. Therefore, all unnecessary spending stops here.

2) DETOX.
This sort of overlaps with the previous point. I have eaten an extraordinary amount of crap over the past week or so. I had been slowly but consistently heading toward my ideal weight, but now I see the scales rising back up again, and this is not a good thing. Hopefully, the 'not spending so much money' thing will stop me buying the obscene amount of crap I have been doing. Therefore, from now, I will drink a hell of a lot more water, and eat more fruit and vegetables.

3) MAKE MONEY.
I have had numerous ways of doing this planned out for a few months now, but have yet to put them in place. Firstly, I will get selling on eBay. Secondly, I will talk through the National Lottery plan with my friends, and get started on that (this does not affect the 'stop spending so much money' plan, as 25p a week is hardly breaking the bank ... well, yet). Thirdly, I will complete online surveys, and while I hear this is very dull, its not like I have much else to do. I have other plans too, but I'm going to see how these roll out first.

4) STOP WASTING MY DAYS.
Plain and simple. I will get up earlier, be more productive, and spend less time constantly refreshing the same sites again and again. I have a lot of things I want to do other than the above, such as the preparation for Primary Faction, and to finish my book, which if I was less lazy and more productive, I would be able to achieve.

I think that's it. WISH ME LUCK.

EDIT: Day 1 did not go well ... I didnt get up earlier, I didnt drink more water or eat healthier, and I didnt start my money making plans. Instead, I slept in, baked a cake, and did nothing productive. I suck.

*SIGH*

I was bitten by the travelling bug in the summer of 2008.

And I mean the real travelling bug, the one where you see the sights, experience the history and the culture, go beyond the beaten path, away from the beaches and bustling tourists etc etc.

Money (or rather lack of) kills the travelling bug. Dead.

It started off as wishing. I always wanted to go to so many places, but never really thought I would ever manage to get there.

Money, lack of maturity and life experience, lack of a suitable travelling partner, and fear of going solo stopped me from really looking into what I could experience, of where legitimately I could go.

As far as I was concerned, I would finish school, go to college, finish college, go to uni, finish uni, live happily ever after. I was happy with whatever holidays I got, honestly appreciating every one, and having never been further than a three hour flight away from England, I wasn't really aware of what I was missing. I can count the countries I have been to on one hand.

Hell, I can probably count the number of planes I have been on on two.

I am glad though, that I have got to know my own country before exploring someone else's.

Then there was Egypt.

This remains the most prominent and highest priority of my 'need to go to NOW or I will die' location list. But now, it has expanded to Italy, Jordon, Australia, New Zealand and South America to name but a few.

So today has been spent looking at the amazing tours on some very inspiring sites, and feeling pretty darn crappy that I have no money.

Some day. Some day.

<3 x

OMEGLE

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ALBERT?
You: BETTY?
Stranger: OH MY GOSH
Stranger: its really you?!?!
Stranger: where have you been all my life?
You: is it really you betty??
Stranger: it is"
Stranger: i cant believe this day has finally arrived
You: i dont think i would cope if you got my hopes up like this and then it turned out to be a lie
Stranger: i dont think i could either
You: its been many many years
Stranger: ill be honest
Stranger: im not betty
Stranger: im actually mary
You: ....
Stranger: im so sorry
You: i ...
You: i....
Stranger: but i had to check if albert was cheating on me
Stranger: it was the only way!
You: ummmm
You: oh crap
You have disconnected.


People on the internets are funny

Less Than Three

Today, I am feeling a LOT of love for my friends.

No specific reason why, maybe cos I havent seen them for a few days, or cos I'm stuck at home with my stupid effing father, but right now, I'm missing them all so much to the point of physical pain.

(By the way, I'm crazy hormonal at the moment. I mean, I even CRIED at 'Lark Rise' last night. Not even when the kid died, but when the Candlefordians came to help with the harvest. I know right, bloody pathetic.)

But yeah, R E A L L Y looking forward to seeing Rachey and the Inkster (oooo Inkster ... thats new ... I like it) on the morrow, and then everyone else on Wednesday. It feels like months since I have seen anyone, and even though I have been texting them all more than normal lately, what with organising the meal on Wednesday and whatnot, I miss them all so much right now.

Anyway, just a quick one to get it off my chest.

And now, I'm going to go buy cheese. Cos thats what I do when I'm feeling down. Oooo, and enchiladas.

<3 x

WEL DONE

Here is a rant.

You know how I said that the last few days of my job had been good because I was doing what I was good at, talking to the customers etc? Well let me explain more.

I basically had to stop people to ask them as they came into the shop whether they wanted to sign up for this deal to get money off when you shop online. Ill be honest, I was good at it. Most people got 4 or 5 people signing up a day, and on my last 2 days, I found a system that worked well for me. I got over half the target in a 4 hour shift, so you can imagine how they seemed sorry to let me go.

Our incentive to get these signatures was that for every 5 we got, we would get a £5 gift card. Then they said a Lucky Dip. None the less, even though I had worked out that they should give me a £60 gift card, I didn't really expect more than £25.

Today I got said card through the post. For £10. With a note saying 'Wel Done'.

Lets just say I'm even more glad I left now, especially as they cant even spell.

Rant over.

<3 x

Job ...ful?

New design. You like?

About six months or so ago, I heard about a new fledgling idea for a TV show due to my YouTube obsession, and was mildly interested, thinking how awesome it would be to get involved. I immediately dismissed the idea as I decided it just would never happen, even if I had finished Uni by the time it got underway. None the less, I followed the progress of said TV show with interest.

However, when I had handed in my notice last week, I decided 'what the hell' and sent my CV to the email address I found on their Facebook page. A few days later, I got an email back telling me my CV was impressive (that's just name dropping BEING HUMAN, but hey, I'm not complaining) and to get in contact with the costume designer. This I did, and he basically told me I am just what he needs!

THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I'm hoping its going to be like a springboard, so hopefully more work will come from it etc.

I was dancing around the room for like an hour, only just resisting the urge to call Inki to scream as I was afraid of her phone going off half way through the funeral, and I don't think that would have been good.

In other news, I was at Elle's house and we were looking through all these old books, and in one of them was this old napkin thing. It was like a dedication to people who died in a mining accident in Hamstead in 1908, and something about it rang a bell that i was connected somehow. I told Elle as much, and as I was saying it, I looked down at the lists of names and saw my surname! It was very weird, and a bit of a mind freak.

The next day, which was yesterday, I asked my dad, but he knew nothing about it. My mum then told me that someone in her family had died in a mining accident around the turn of the century (from going back to check why a charge hadn't gone off, I mean, come on, what do you expect? My mum's side is supposed to be the intelligent ones as well) so clearly that's why it seemed familiar, but no real connection.

I guess I just have a common surname, but it would have been cool. I'm going to ask around the rest of the family anyway, just in case. The story was tragic, especially as the accident happened on my Dad's birthday, but the man with my surname's body wasn't found until a week later, which is my sister's birthday.

Weird, huh?

Okay, another epic long post. That's enough now.

I'm going to watch the Gilmore Girls.

<3 x