Wolf

Exo released a new song. I'm not convinced.

I challenge you to watch it without laughing when they start howling.

They all look so young. I like the styling, but the song in itself is a little ... I don't know, I just don't feel it. It's definitely no History, and I don't even think it could be a grower like Mama. I'll download the album if there is one, but I don't hold high hopes if this is the song to go by.

Garnier 'Miracle' BB Cream

So last week, I found myself with an empty bottle of BB cream and weeks before I could get a new one seeing as all the brands I wanted aren't available in this country. So, I looked into western brands of BB cream, and taking into account reviews and personal recommendations, I went for the Garnier Miracle Skin Perfector Daily All in One BB Cream.

First impressions, its so orange. My Skin 79 one had much more of a cool yellow undertone. Makes sense, I guess, as Garnier is probably marketed at western skin types rather than asian tones. It was also quite thin, and even though that meant a little goes a long way and it spreads and blends out well, I didn't feel that it could give me as much coverage as a slighty thicker formula. Because of this consistancy, I felt that I didn't need to put moisturiser on before putting on the BB cream, like I would do normally, as it made my skin feel unnecessarily heavy and a little too slick. It also had quite a strong, almost floral frangrance. I didn't dislike it, it just took me by surprise a little.

Okay, so I have no idea how to turn this photo around. When I do in my photo viewer thing, it squishes up my face, like the top photo but uglier, and my face looks wonky as it is. So on the left/top is the BB cream, and the right/bottom is make-up free. Not a huge difference.

For me, the coverage is just too light. I feel like I need to wear concealer underneath, and finish with powder, and these are two stages that I never felt like I had to do before just to get an even skin tone.  It does make a difference, it is just a more subtle one than I am used to. It didn't even show up on my lips. On the other hand, I guess this makes it good for summer, for a more natural look, and it certainly feels moisturising.

Would I buy it again? No. Am I going to continue to use this one? Yes ... but I'm praying for a new Asian brand for my birthday, as they have consistantly beaten the western versions out of the water.

Money

I think two catch up posts in one night is a little too much, so maybe I'll do my BB cream post tomorrow. I've taken photos and everything, but I'm just so inexplicably shattered that I physically can't write that post tonight.

Today was meant to be started with a bridal fitting with one of the teachers at school, and the rest of the day spent tidying my work room and setting everything back to rights. But it was raining, so I only did the fitting part.

I did work out my expenses for this month though. I spend too much. I would have broken even this month if my car hadn't needed parts. It's just ridiculous how a dinner out here and a trip to the shops there turns into hundreds of pounds over a month. I really need to do the eBay thing seriously again, and stop having a social life that costs money.

Also, if my car could stop breaking, that would be great.

MCM

I don't even know where to start with this post. Crazy, absolutely crazy ... and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it.

So Friday started with a very early drive down to London, picking up the creator and her partner and heading to Excel, which is basically to London what the NEC is to Birmingham. After a bit of faffing because we weren't on the normal lists, we managed to get in, find our space and set up our table. It looked pretty good, even if I do say so myself. Then I donned a tshirt, the cast showed up, and finally, the doors opened.

I didn't expect to feel so weird for not being dressed up. I knew there would be cosplayers, and I knew there would be a lot of them, but I didn't know that not being one of them would be so ... abnormal. It was almost like you didn't exist. There was even Tsubasa cosplayers, which was incredible. The costumes were amazing, and I felt utterly ashamed. Some of these people had more talent and had put more effort into their outfits than I have ever done for my costumes.

The Friday seemed crazy at the time, but it was ridiculously quiet compared to Saturday. I left the table maybe once to pee, and I definitely didn't eat. The next day I was supplied with free food from the VIP room early, so I didn't really have an excuse.

I went into sales person mode, and basically took control of the table so that everyone else could go and have a look around every so often. I wasn't bothered that I couldn't, it was far too busy and at least I could have a chair behind the table every so often. I've always been good at selling people into buying stuff, but everyone else seemed shocked. I think they all see me as this quiet, shy girl who takes a while to come out of her shell, and they couldn't understand where I got the confidence from to not only talk to all these random strangers, but to also convince them to give me their money. I don't know either, really. I think its my geminian side, I can just switch to a different personality. Like an actor.

We had 4 people separately come dressed up as characters from the show. That was crazy. People who had paid such close attention to my designs that they wanted to replicate them. They got pretty close too. I'm still just so overwhelmed.

I don't know what else to say. It was so intense, and seeing the fans was incredible. I got referred to by name, and asked to sign autographs. Me. It's crazy.

Clean and Cozy

This should be the first of a small series of catch up posts, but I just got out of the bath, and I'm feeling all warm, clean and cozy so I kind of just want to go to sleep.

So, I'll bring you up to date with Saturday and Sunday tomorrow. Maybe one post about comic con, and the other about my new BB cream.

In other news, might have got another short film in the pipeline. Need to check I can book a day off school and you know actually get the job first, but the director has been getting a lot of recognition lately so it would be a good shoot to get involved in. Obviously London based, but its only 4 days in mid June so it shouldn't be a problem to find someone to put me up.

I ache

I had like two hours sleep last night, followed by a 3 hour drive, and then a full day setting up and manning the web series stand at MCM Comic Con London.

It was amazing, but I'm kind of tired now. 

I think tomorrow is going to be even more manic. 

5am

No post last night because I decided that sleep was more important. Sleep that I have only had 3 hours of.

I hate waking up. Especially by an alarm. Especially before 8 am. It shouldn't be allowed. 

So now I'm off to London. I'm hoping the roads will be quiet at least. 

Lack of organisation

So, I'm going to comic con on Friday, and so far, I have no idea what the plan is.

I also have to do an interview for the short I'm shooting in the summer, and only today did the producer tell me he wants me to being design work and costume that I have gathered so far. I have done designs, but nothing more than they got ages ago, and as for costume, they haven't even decided my budget yet, let alone given it to me so how could I have any costume yet? 

I have spent all day making up a new robe, and I only have the hem, belt and band left to do. I decided to French seam the whole thing, so it's all taken ages. They wanted me to embroider it too, but I don't see how in going to have time to do that, as well as everything else I have to do by tomorrow evening.

1) turn designs to costume boards

2) finish robe

3) write up and send off 2x invoices 

4) sort and pack costume for comic con

5) find out plan for comic con

6) turn into girl

7) sort out BB problem 

8) pack personal belongings

9) pay mechanic

10) check car and buy petrol

In no particular order. They don't seem that bad. But the first one could take hours. 

So, I'm feeling a little bit freaked out right now. 

BB

I have run out of BB cream. 

Regular/old school blog readers will remember me trying Maybelline's Dream Fresh BB and breaking out, so choosing to try the seasoned professionals of BB cream and buying the Skin79 VIP gold beblesh balm. 

I loved it. It evened out my skin tone without feeling heavy on my face, and didn't make me break out. I have pretty much worn it every day for probably a year. But now, my tub is empty.

I want to try a new BB cream, but which one? I'd like to stick with the tried and tested Asian brands, and have short listed it down to another variety of the Skin79 range, the Missha M Perfect Cover or the Étude House Precious Mineral. I also want to try the Lioele Triple the Solution, but it's so expensive.

There is one problem with all of these options. They are all Korean brands, without UK stockists, and will take weeks, if not months, to arrive. 

Sigh.

Do I try the garnier version? I'm skeptical but it seems to be the most well received western brand BB cream. And the thought of not having anything is a little concerning. 

Desert Island Hygiene

I actually had a blog planned out last night, but when it came to writing it, I had a brain melt and totally forgot.

So this is Libby. She is one of the tail section survivors of Lost. Their group got attacked pretty much constantly by the Others while the main group just played happy families on the beach, so you have to imagine that she will have been through a lot. She quite clearly doesn't care enough about her appearance to brush her hair... and yet she shaves her pits.

Good job prioritising, Libby.

Ah well, you're going to die soon anyway.

Secret video

I still have a post to catch up on this month. God knows when I'm going to be able to do that. I was hoping on finishing Love Rain, but I doubt that will happen this month. Not that it's not an awesome series, it is ... even if it was a bit slow to start. But you know ... Lost ...

It's weird that embedded videos don't come up on mobile blogger. Or is that just me? I just see a big empty space on both the mobile and web versions when viewed on my phone, but the videos come up on my computer. Annoying. 

I'm sleepy and I don't have much to talk about. 

Milo

A few months ago, YouTube did something about the videos that violated copyright on their site. I remember all the old nigahiga videos suddenly being re-uploaded, but that was all I really knew and I didn't think about it again.

All the videos I made 2007-2008 were deleted from my laptop years ago, and even though they were on YouTube, some had the audio removed due to the songs I used. One of these videos was my tribute to Milo, my beloved cat, and at the end, just for a few seconds over the last note of the song, you could hear his purring.

I had long ago given up ever hearing this small sound bite again. Yet, today, for some reason, I found myself watching it.

The audio has been restored.

 You have no idea how much that means to me.

Feed my Fish

You know what I remembered today? There are fish at the bottom of my blog pages. Fish that you can feed green fish food to. Luckily they don't seem to need it to survive.

Today has been a pretty nothing day. Yesterday I got a phone call from someone I hadn't seen for ages, asking me to make him some mic pack belts, so today, he said he would drop an example around for me to base them on. I waited for hours, and by the time he showed up and left again, it was too late and I was too lazy to start work. Should be easy enough to make though, and its all money. It'll be a good thing to know how to do as well, if a situation like the web series happens again and I need to be costume come radio mic-er.

I made a new blog too, but there is nothing on it yet so no point in linking just yet.

Plans

So I think that the random spam commenting on my Tokyo Dogs post has finally stopped.

I also think I start too many of my posts with 'So...'.

I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. I guess this is the first time in years that I can think about what to do when I have run out of friends and family members to make wedding dresses for. I really want to do my wedding dress upcyle thing, maybe expand it to bridemaids as well, as it something I can constantly be working on with no set deadlines. I quite want to do a make up and hair course as well.

I was also thinking about how when I was researching how to make the space suit, one of the first places I looked was YouTube for video tutorials. Maybe I should start doing things like that. Documenting how I make my projects with videos and blog posts, probably all done under my relatively new internet handle. I could even do really simple guides on various basic sewing techniques and the like. I know it won't make me money, or at least it is unlikely to be successful enough to do so, but it could be a good resource to refer people to, and another arrow to my quiver so to speak if I could sell downloads to my patterns. I don't know, I'm still very much in the early stages of thinking it through.

I was on a few media networking sites today, just looking at what work was around at the moment. It's interesting that all the paid positions were directors and camera operators and producers, but all the art department, costume and make up positions, regardless of level, were in the unpaid section. Sure, it's expected to work for free to get your foot in the door, and there is a famous saying in the industry that paid work comes from working for free, but its amazing how many established production companies continue to expect to crew and cast an entire feature film without having to pay a single wage. Especially when crowd funding has become so popular that productions have easier access to more funding.

Its a funny industry. In any other situation, it would be illegal.

Not in a Gypsy way

Pretty soon, my parents will be moving down to Somerset to be with my sister and her by then husband when they have babies. This will leave me somewhat homeless.

School is my only consistent wage, but even that is only term time. If I was to rent a house or flat, I would have to keep paying rent if I get work elsewhere. So, taking into consideration my need for a roof over my head and the possibility of travel with work, I started looking into a house boat.

I soon realised I might as well buy a house. In Mayfair. With a pool.

Motorhomes were far more affordable, and they come with a vehicle all built in. I could literally take my home with me wherever I need to go, like a snail. Or a caravan, so I could leave my home somewhere while I go to the supermarket and whatnot. 

I think this is a really good idea! I'd be flexible, I'd have a home that I could afford, and I wouldn't have to worry about digs whenever I work away from home. It's cheaper than renting a house, I wouldn't need to buy furniture and new models come with showers so I'd be all set. I could even put solar panels on the roof for electricity. 

Makes sense, right? So why do people keep thinking I'm joking???

Autocorrect

You were very close to not getting a post tonight as I literally can't keep my eyes open, but I've already missed two posts this month so I shouldn't make it harder for myself.

You know, autocorrect is your best friend. You can write whatever you want and there us a good chance that they'll write what you mean.

Ok sleep now. 

D

Today I watched a video.

It was Bubzbeauty's bra fitting and advice video. 

http://youtu.be/cWhJzAwBnEM

Actually that's kind of a lie. I watched it a few days ago, and rewatched it today. And I also measured myself as she guided.

This may be a little too much information, but for the longest time, I wore a 34B. I recently went up to a C, as that seems to be my size in M&S, where I get all my bras from. According to my measurements, I'm a 32D! 

D! That's ridiculous. I can barely get my head round being a C, my boobs aren't that big. And 32? I get why it makes sense, but sometimes even a 34 on the lowest setting is too tight. 

Maybe I'll try one on some day, just to see, and then laugh myself out of the shop when I look like a 10 year old playing dress up.

Magnesium

I'm so sick of this effing steroid spray. It leaves a horrible taste dribbling down the back of my throat and it doesn't seem to be making the slightest bit of difference to my ears. In fact, I strongly suspect GP's get a commission on drugs brought through their prescriptions, and I was only prescribed this because it sounded fancy and cost a lot of money.

My mum has always said she thought my ear trouble was an anxiety thing. At first, I thought she was probably right, especially when it started in the middle of the BBC drama shoot. But then I started to get it in non-stressful situations, such as going outside, and so I thought it must be something more than just simple anxiety. Now, I am starting to think she was right again, and everything just makes me anxious, whether it occurs subconsciously or not.

I googled, obviously, and found that magnesium is supposed to help. Something about a deficiency unbalancing something or other and making mental health problems worse. If I can get a bit more magnesium into my diet, and it makes my ear thing go away, I figure I don't have anything to loose.

So, from now on, I get to eat more BRAN!! And FLAX SEED!! And sunflower seeds, cashew nuts, edamame, green leafy vegetables and all that healthy, whole grain jazz. But the best one is CHOCOLATE! Apparently, cocoa (co-co-ah) has high magnesium content, and the darker the better. We all know I'm a dairy milk girl, but I can deal with some high cocoa content dark chocolate in the name of good health.

Obviously, the easier option would be to take supplements, but my mum, who used to be all for them, advised against it. I could also have epsom salt baths, go to a science lab and lick some, or drink milk of magnesia by the litre, but I think I'll try the snack food approach first.

I guess I should learn relaxation techniques too. You know, for when I leave the house, make dinner or go to work and need to stop feeling so unconsiously stressed out about it.

Ah this is so ridiculous!

Surprisingly coherent

I chat really afford to miss a post, not when I already owe a post this month and progress is slow on Love Rain because for some reason I thought starting Lost would be a good idea and wouldn't take up all my time at all.

I just finished season 1. I'm glad I waited this long to watch it again as it is almost like watching it all over again but with a basic idea of what happens in the end. I love Charlie and Hurley, they are such a great duo, but they never really got out together. 

I also got a wedding invite to my sisters wedding. My mum is telling me I should RSVP, but I figure I didn't for anyone else's so why should I? 

Maybe to order my food, I guess.

EVA

It's difficult to post when there isn't really anything you want to post about.

Want to see a possible new job?

I hate when people ask for quotes on how much something would cost. I'd much rather they gave me a budget to work to. I've looked into a load of cosplay builds, and some seem to do it for peanuts, but I can't see how I could make something look realistic enough from just junk found around the house. Its the helmet and neck socket thing I'm most worried about.

If I get the job, it would look awesome in my portfolio though.

How girls sleep

I don't think I can embed YouTube videos on an iPhone post. 

Nope, can't.

So you get a link instead.

http://youtu.be/ZAqt-R0nJjQ

This is pretty much exactly what I'm doing right now.

Lost

Okay, so maybe I'm slipping back into old habits. Or maybe it's because I'm not taking my spray stuff as regularly as I am supposed to. But most likley, it's because I'm watching too much LOST.

I adored LOST when it was on the TV, and even though I brought the DVDs as soon as they came out, I never watched then. I wanted to forget what happened, to watch the whole series again with only a vague idea of future plots.

For some reason, I decided that yesterday was the day to start watching it again. I'm already half way through the first season.

My sister brought me a tshirt once. It said 'lost girl in the city, running wild and looking pretty'. She always said the phrase suited me. Shame the t shirt was too small.

Age

You know what sucks? Having to get up early to go to the garage before work because your bleeding exhaust is falling off.

I was driving to my Gran's when I heard the clunking. She's fucked up her pills again. We got her a tamper free pill box, but then she needed to go on antibiotics and needed a dose when she wouldn't normally have any. So we instructed the carers to keep the pills from her to save her getting confused and give her each dose accordingly. So they put them in an envelope and left them in plain sight. Naturally, my gran opened the envelope and took them, continually thinking she had missed a dose, and then denied all knowledge. Impossible. The carers are going to get a right bollocking tomorrow. It's lucky it wasn't something more harmful.

I don't want to get old.

Expectations

So today, I finally started to cut out the lace of my sister's wedding dress. You know, that lace that cost £96 a metre.

But to be fair, I probably spent more time bouncing from wall to wall on my wheely chair. So I made a whole meme about it.

The Manor

Yeah I missed a post. A post I actually had planned as well. But, seeing as I can't be bothered to double post tonight, you just get today's.

Went to Drayton Manor today for the first time in at least 6 years. It hasn't changed much. Same rides, same .... umm there's not much else other than rides. It was amazing how long the queues were for the kids rides as opposed to the big thrill rides. I guess today was family day and we all missed the memo.

But now, my legs ache from standing up all day, although that might be the squat challenge I just did, and I've been feeling weird and a bit sick ever since before the last ride. I have a feeling it's too much sun, not enough water, and not enough actual nutrition.

Cos, you know, I'm in my mid 20's now and these things affect old people.

I'm also starting to put on my tummy again without having the not eating thing going on, so it's back to the hoop and squats full time so I can build it up properly by the time I need it, for my sisters wedding. I'm guessing my brother in law has lots of hot, well to do farmer friends that might not mind meeting me.

BeeBeeQueue

I'm sleepy, so you know this post probably won't end with me being awake.

Had my first BBQ of the year this evening. It lacked s'mores because we all ate too much to start with and left no room for marshmallowy goodness. It probably didn't help that we all got cold and headed inside, and that I was the only one who liked them anyway. Still, I came home with the marshmallows and caramel chocolate digestives, so I can have them whenever I like ... on the gas hob.

I could use my candle I guess, but I'm really liking this one and I don't really want to mess with it. It's a Yankee candle, and I never really thought much of them because they are so expensive, but you can't deny they smell good. This one is fluffy towels, and it's such a clean, fresh scent. It smokes like a bitch though when you blow it out, so the lid thing comes in handy.

I did my spray thing right before I started writing this post, and the horrible taste is just starting to work it's way down my throat. Yuk.

Self Diagnostics

So this morning I went to teacher training to learn about how to deal with children with autism and anxiety issues.

Side note: teacher training, I know right? I have to write reports and feedback and everything now. Suddenly feeling a lot less like a normal person playing teacher, and more like a ... you know, teacher thing.

Anyway, so I was listening to this guy talk about how people with autism think and how anxiety can effect people, and now I keep seeing these tendencies not only in myself and my own behaviour, but literally everyone around me. A person with autism will walk into a room and not be able to grasp straight away whats going on. I walk into a room and sit right in front of what turns out to be the projector, despite noticing that everyone is sitting along the one side of the room facing at me. A person with anxiety issues will let issues from hours, days, months and years ago continue to fester in their minds rather than resolve them.

Sound familiar?

Of course, the projector thing could also be explained by me just being outrageously unobservant, and that's nothing new.

I'm less surprised by the anxiety self diagnosis.

Therapy

Nothing like having a silent shouting match in the mirror to help release all that anger and frustration. Means that real people don't have to deal with it, just my reflection.

I'm in a weird mood this evening. I was fine all day, but suddenly I feel irritable and things that happened ages ago have started to bug me again, hence fighting with my reflection.

Okay I just realised how much of a lunatic I sound.

Shutting up before I start telling you about the voices.

Stingy

Aish! I need to stop spending so much money.

Actually, I think I need to stop spending money full stop.

Just did my last month's expenses, and I'm in minus figures again, and I can't even blame it on a car part this time. Not by much, only £20, which is just under how much I'm owed for petrol anyway, but still, it is amazing how personal expenses build up and utterly fuck you over.

I even made a profit on all my other categories, so this just proves how much my own expenses are costing me.

So, this month, I am going to be stingy. Spend less on food and socialising. Try harder with eBay ... even though the items I am listing have been up so many times. People don't seem to want them. Time to break out the next bag I guess.

Got off to a good start ... went to pizza hut this evening.

501

That last post was my 500th post. But I didn't realise until afterwards so ...

Woo! 501th post!

Sorry it's not a better blog, something with more point or direction. Sometimes I post about Asian drama, sometimes about asian music, and more often than not its a diary. But that's how I like it, and it's not like I ask anyone to read it.

I'm at my sisters for the night, and I finally got to see her wedding venue. It's really cosy and intimate, modern but countrified. Suits them down to a tee. We had a meal tasting, and it all went rather well. It's quite awesome that they get to offer 2 starters, 3 mains and 2 desserts, not even counting the vegetarian and vegan options. It's more like a massive group booking at a restaurant than a wedding meal.

Trust my sister to be different!