Bultaoreune

I am O B S E S S E D with Fire by BTS at the moment. 

I watch the MV at least 4 times a day. 

I started looking up dance tutorials. 

I sing it under my breath at school.

I actually love it. 

What's upsetting though is when you find out your favourite member is 10 years younger than you. 

How do these kids get so much talent so young?! 

So yeah. Just thought you should know. 

BTS are awesome. 

PS - Super Junior I still love you.

Slimming World Update

Yeah I know. It's been a while. I may not have been blogging, but that does not mean I have stopped slimming. 

Over the past two weeks, I have lost another pound. Yeah it's not huge. But you know, it's hard. I think it's harder the longer you do it for. I maintained last week, which is the closest to a gain I've been. I'm determined not to gain though. Although the three pizzas I had in the space of 6 days last week seem to suggest otherwise ...

We've been to another couple of groups and I think we've settled on one. Wednesday straight after school. It should mean that it doesn't cut into the evening, and hopefully means I won't be tempted to get takeaway and binge when I get home. It's early enough in the week to not just give myself a long weekend off too. At least, that's the hope. 

My main problem is that I binge. I do really well and then my brain just breaks and all of a sudden I've gone so majorly off plan that even getting straight back in it doesn't make a difference. The damage is done. Take Friday for example. I had a really good day. HeB cereal with heA milk for breakfast. Soup for lunch. Mullerlight for a snack. Then I had to go to sainsburies on the way home to pick up something for my fully free on plan slimming world dinner, and somehow ended up buying and subsequently eating a whole fresh baguette with a load of butter. A whole baguette. Then half a big bar of chocolate left over from my low syn dessert. All within about 10 mins. This was the day after I got a large cheesy bites and ate all but one slice. On my own. It's not that I'm hungry, nor that I feel full afterwards. God, I've never realised how much of a cliche I am. No food can fill the emptiness inside or some such shit. 

I guess just need to work on my emotional binging. I'm planning all my meal and it's not like I don't have enough food. I just can't help but loose control sometimes. I'm determined to not be too far behind Rachey, and she got her stone award last week. At this point, I'm only about 2kg or 5.5lb off that stone off. If I try really hard, I should be able to get that in two weeks. 

Here's hoping anyway.

Slimming World - Weeks Five & Six

Result - 1/2lb loss

Ok so after two weeks a half a pound loss might seem like a bit of a disappointment. You could not be more wrong. I'm so proud of that half a pound loss. 

You see, Easter happened during those two weeks. Easter is my favourite time of year, with all my favourite foods; Easter eggs, simnel cake, creme eggs, mini eggs, fruit cake with marzipan in it, egg shaped chocolate ... You just can't get better food than Easter food. 

So I ate a lot over Easter weekend. And I mean a lot. But then I tried to be super good afterwards, having a week of normal on plan eating and a few days of SP to try and get myself of the pathological need to basically starve myself in the days before weigh in ... At least that was the plan. 

Knowing I had eaten so much, practically regaining my last two weeks loss in just one weekend, meant that I had a huge amount of guilt. Yes, I tried to eat well, but it's also the Easter holidays and some times I went out to eat and probably made choices that weren't fully thought out, leading to even more guilt. My diet from waking up on Wednesday morning until I weighed in on Thursday evening consisted of half a bowl of salad, an almond milk soy protein shake, an alpen light bar and a babybel light, all of which were on Wednesday. 

I'm going to be honest, I'm starting to scare myself. I've cried more about my weight this week than I ever have. I'm so proud of my half a stone, and I so want to reach my target healthily. I just really need to work on not being afraid to gain.

Slimming World - Week Four

Result: 1.5lb loss.

This week was a momentous week in my Slimming World journey. This week, I achieved my first award, granting me a precidicious certificate and a shiny sticker on the back of my book. 

 

It was a close call, for the longest time I didn't think I was going to manage it, even though I only had a pound and a half to lose to achieve my half a stone. The start of the week hadn't gone well. Wagamamas on Friday followed by two nights of pasta bake rocketed my syns, and if I hadn't done a few days of speed foods only over the Monday and the Tuesday, there wouldn't have been a chance in hell. I did feel a little bit cheated as we decided to try a Wednesday class as opposed to our normal Thursday, so lost a whole day of potential weight loss, but never mind. 

Again, this weeks group was a world apart from every other one we had tried. For a start, it was crazy busy. Like huge. Normally, there is the consultant and maybe one or two helpers. This group had the consultant and at least 6 helpers. Two people logging you in and taking payment, two people weighing, and two people on the shop. The line was constant and the seats for group filled, even though many weigh in and leave. The consultant said something along the lines of that in that one session, we had cumulatively lost about 300lbs. Due to the group being so much larger, we did spend a good hour and a half there, and while that was fine at 9am during the Easter holidays, there is no way we can devote that much time a week every week, especially when we normally go in the evening and Rachey has to get home to see her son before his bedtime. None the less, we learned a lot of tips and the group itself was much less click-y and very welcoming. The consultant could tell straight away that we were visiting, and was clearly very knowledgable. We're still sampling groups but I certainly won't mind going back to this group again. 

We've both booked a week off next week, so I have a week and a half to get myself back on track after Easter. I also quite want to try and train myself off needing to starve myself with speed free foods only in the preceding 48 hours to weigh in. Staying on plan and making up my own are two very different things. I'm going to try and cut down my fruit intake, and really work on upping my vegetables, as well as drinking more. 

Easter weekend isn't going to go well, and I'm not going to sacrifice my Easter eggs for the sake of being good, but I'm fully planning to be 100% on plan from Monday onwards.

Fingers crossed I can achieve my stone off sticker within another 4 weeks! Then I'll be half way to target! 

Slimming World - Week Three

Result: 1lb loss.

So this post is a little late. My weigh in day is a Thursday and it's currently Monday. This is partly because I'm lazy, but also because I was super naughty last week. 

I supposed I was partly spurred on by my excellent result of week 2. I had told myself that I would treat myself to a pizza if I achieved over a 2lb loss, and seeing as I did, I upheld my promise. I was good, I didn't order anything else, but still, strike one. Then Friday started well but I just didn't follow the plan past lunch time. Neither did I for most of the rest of the week, including another load of pizza on Monday. Tuesday wasn't too bad but it wasn't exactly great either, with lemon tart, a load of goats cheese and probably 20 syns worth of chocolate tofu mousse. It was only on Wednesday and Thursday that I really kicked my arse into gear and tried to undo the damage. 

Breakfast on Wednesday consisted of fruit tea and some watermelon. Lunch was an apple and a pear. Dinner was speed veg in passatta. Thursday consisted of half an apple and garcinia tablets to try to stave off the hunger. 

Needless to say, I was pretty darn grumpy. I love fruit, and it definitely helps shift some weight quickly, but a healthy diet it does not make. Sure, I lost my pound, and saw that as a huge achievement, but now im struggling to get back to that, let alone lose my target of another one and a half pound. 

In other news, we tried out a different group this week, and boy, was it different. The weigh in was a lot busier, with a constant queue of people even though we were early to begin with. The group was about the same size as our original group, but everyone seemed a lot more familiar together, laughing and joking. The consultant was lovely (also clearly well educated in SW judging by all her awards) and played a game of setting the two sides of the room against each other to win the most points, based on feedback and losses at the scales. It was a whole different world and I much preferred it. I felt like I came away with more tips and motivation than I have done in three groups worth at the last place. We're going to another one this week just due to timing, so we'll see how this one measures up. 

So that's it for now. I think any other week I would have been really disappointed in my 1lb loss, but this week, it was a bloody miracle to lose anything. 

What's more, I'm only one and a half pounds off my half a stone award! 

Slimming World - Week Two

Result: 3lb loss.

At today's weigh in, I was so super nervous. As I stood on the scales, my brain went blank and I couldn't even work out whether I'd lost or gained. 

I had weighed myself last night before bed and after converting the kilos into stone and pounds, concluded that I should expect a 3lb loss. Then I spent the rest of today talking myself out of it. I told myself to not expect anything, that any loss is a success, that eating anything more than salad on weigh in day was a foolish thing to do. 

Basically, my point here is even though I knew that I was likely to have met my 2lb loss target, and probably even exceeded it, the idea of the public weigh in still made my anxiety levels soar and my head go to dark places. You find yourself wondering how heavy your clothes are, whether your glasses will be significantly heavier than your lenses, whether a fart will help you loose weight, and feel guilty over eating a bloody babybel the day before because you know cheese doesn't digest as quickly as fruit and veg.

Having said all of this, I am thrilled with my week two results. If I loose the same next week, I'll achieve my half a stone award in just three weeks. I think that's pretty good going to be honest. 

What did I do differently this week to achieve double the loss of my first week? Other than two cheat meals early on in the week, I managed to stick to the plan 100%. I ate loads of free foods, especially the speed foods, made sure to measure out my healthy extras and be super strict with my syns. I have aimed at between 11-15 syns a day and on only one day did I go over and even then it was only by half a syn. I think one thing I didn't wrong last week was to use oat so simple as my Healthy B, when really I should have synned it. This week, I've been using porridge oats and oat milk, and then using the remainder of my Healthy A allowance on something else, which I didn't do before, probably leaving me with over half my Healthy A left over each day. 

Protein is still an issue for me. I don't really know how to change that. I'm taking iron supplements so fingers crossed my iron intake is okay at least. 

On the day before and the day of weigh in, I decided to only eat free fruit and veg that are also speed foods. So no pasta, potatoes, bananas and the like. I think it worked, I'll try it again next week and see how it works the second week around. I'm not going to do it for more than a day  and a half though, life's too short to only eat salad for days on end. 

Slimming World - Week One

Result: 1.5lb loss

So, first week of slimming world done and dusted. And no, it wasn't so bad. But did I stay on plan and follow it to the letter? God no. I'd had half a Pizza Hut cheesy bites pizza a little over 24 hours after joining up. 

To be honest, that really sums up my experience of my first week of slimming world, I either was very good or very bad. There was no in between, no just going a little over my syns, it was either be right on target or majorly over. 

For the most part, once you get your head around the complexities of the plan, it's easy enough to follow. Eat the free food freely, measure out your healthy extras and count everything else as syns. 

However, as a vegetarian who can't eat quorn, I feel like the plan severely limits my protein intake. Protein is important, both nutritionally but also to aid weight loss. But on this plan, my syn free protein is very much limited to fat free dairy products such as cottage cheese, eggs and pulses. I have to syn the meat substitutes I can eat, namely the Linda McCartney products. I asked my consultant if I could have protein powder as a supplement, and she informed me that just one scoop of soy protein would cost me a massive 6 syns. When you factor in that I should be having a least two a day, it gets ridiculous. Sure, meat eaters can eat as much bacon as they want, but I am forced to limit my main source of protein.

Having said this, I still have faith in the plan. I intend to do much better this week, especially over the weekend and during the week. I'm not too worried about being 100% slimming world goddess right after the weigh in day, which for me is a Thursday, so I went out for dinner on Thursday and Friday evening and didn't worry about staying on plan. But from now on, I'm going to try much harder. I'm even contemplating trying the SP plan from Monday, along with going to the gym to help boost my results.

 I guess we'll see how it goes. 

Slimming World: And so it begins

So today I joined a local Slimming World group. 

You know me, I like to try everything on my endless journey to weight loss. I've tried the Forever Living Clean 9, 5:2 fast dieting, Slimfast, gluten free, mono-dieting and probably a load more that I can't think of right now. At school, half the staff seem to be on Slimming World and they all speak very highly of it, so I thought why not give it a go. So I dragged a trusty friend with me and now we both have 6 weeks prepaid and shiny new membership cards. 

Ok, so I admit to having borrowed an old version of the plan's guidebook and putting it semi in to use over the past couple of weeks, but from now, I'm going to follow it to the letter. I don't really see how eating as much fruit, vegetables, and pasta as I want can help me lose weight, but we'll see. 

My first impression of the group was a massive eye roll to be honest. We spent 10 mins being talked through the plan while everyone else was weighed. Then we all sat in a semi circle and clapped for 30 mins. This is not an exaggeration. We clapped for bloody everyone no matter whether they had lost weight, put it on or stayed the same. I was expecting some hints or tips, but to be honest, the most I got from it was that one of the members missed drinking copious amounts of alcohol and everyone else was fine, thank you very much, now move on to the next person. I'm not sure I want to sit in these groups but for £5 a week I'm intending to get my bloody money's worth. 

That's another thing, the price. I had scrounged around to find 5 pound coins to pay the £4.95 fee advertised on the website. Nowhere did I see that it cost you an extra £5 to join, nor did the group leader inform me when I contacted her for details on how to join. So it was a bit of a surprise when the money guy turned around demanding £9.95 and I had no extra money with which to pay him. So my friend and I had no choice but to desperately try to find a cash point. We decided to prepay for 6 weeks to avoid similar occurrences in the future. 

Lastly, I want to touch on a more delicate subject. I don't want to judge anyone on their size, but I must admit that it doesn't leave you with much hope for the success of the plan when the people running the meetings are all somewhat on the larger side. It just doesn't seems a very effective advert for the product they are trying to sell. Don't get me wrong, I realise I know nothing of their journeys to get to where they are now, but still, maybe it would be more helpful to introduce the plan with your own success story just to prove that you're doing for that reason as opposed to achieving an extra income. The books claim that the group leaders are highly trained, but I can't help but wonder if they would spot the warning signs of eating disorders and the like.

Anyway, we'll see how week one goes. I intend to do a weekly summary for the 6 weeks, so I shall keep you posted on my progress as well as explaining a bit more about the program. 

The True Side Affects of Chia Seeds

Chia seeds. A superfood, packed full of protein, fibre and omega-3. The nutritional benefits of this little seed are supposedly huge, so naturally, when my well-meaning aunt saw some on sale, she brought me some thinking of the benefits it would hold for my somewhat restrictive diet. 

I've heard of chia seeds before. I've seen videos of how they swell up when put in water, so I knew already that they take on a jelly like consistency. My aunt had never heard of them before, and so I decided to demonstrate to her, with one 'shot' in half a glass of water and another in a pot of yoghurt. We ooh-ed and ahh-ed as they turned into frogspawn and then I ate them both. They tasted like nothing and I thought to myself this could work for me. 

Fast forward about 24 hours and I was in agony, my stomach cramping so bad that I was screaming out, I couldn't keep down water and let's just say neither end was unaffected. 12 hours on from that, and I'm still cramping but it is getting better. 

Nowhere on the packaging did it tell me that chia seeds can take on up to 12 times the amount of liquid to seed. At no point was there a warning about making sure to drink plenty as if the seeds don't find enough liquid to absorb in your stomach, it'll start drawing it from your tissue. These little seeds expand so much that of course your body is going to struggle to move them along if they continue to swell as you are trying to digest them. 

I'd like to point out that I didn't overdose on these little seeds, I had ONE serving. In retrospect, I should have worked my way up to that seemingly insignificant 20g, and drunk literally a fuck tonne of water even after soaking them in a bath overnight to ensure they had taken on as much liquid as they could. 

So where does this leave me now? The nutritional benefits still stand, and I have to admit, I didn't feel hungry at all the day after I ate them, so they obviously help you to feel fuller for longer. Maybe I'll try them again, in a significantly smaller quantity, much more carefully, with plenty of water, and pre-hydrated. 

Tl;dr version - chia seeds lead to severe abdominal cramping, vomiting and other stuff that makes the 42 hours after eating them pretty unpleasant. But they are good for you, so you know ....