I get so easily sucked in to my own imagination. It makes me wonder whether I do in fact lead a rather sorrowful existence, spending all my free time so immersed in fiction and fantasy that I forget to live my own life.
Over the past few days, I have been at work in the estate agents office while my boss is on holiday. Everyone he deals with knows he is away and so its normally pretty quiet, so I bring in my laptop to keep me entertained. I spend literally all day reading, then I go home and read some more until I go to bed. Occasionally, I'll have breaks to listen to the same song on repeat.
I know that I should be doing other things more constructive with my time, and I am constantly wracked with guilt that I have holed myself up on my own. But I can't NOT do it. It makes me happy, or rather it doesn't make me sad.
I suppose it doesn't exactly help that my hormones are all over the place at the moment, making me ecstatically happy one minute but sinking ridiculously low the next. I guess its just as well, I'm not exactly good company at the moment.
Blah blah blah, Heather's feeling sorry for herself again. Sorry.
I was going to post the lyrics of Super Junior M's Perfection, but have decided against it. I just wish some guy thought that about me.
This was such a pointless post. I really should give this blog more direction other than being my personal rant space, as half the time I only post because I feel like I should, and then before I know it, I've emptied my soul.
Oh well.
<3 x
Films - erm I lost count.
Monday 28 February 2011
Friday 4 February 2011
Things what have been happening
New design. What do you think? I'm not completely happy with it, but I don't know how to make it exactly like how I want it to be, so this will have to do. I really love the background image, but half of it is hidden behind the header, which is a shame, but after hours of trying to find a solution, I've just given it up as being fine as it is. I wanted it to match up with my twitter profile, but I found it too hard to match the background to the colour in the image in the design section of blogger, so I just stuck with the same idea of the sakura blossoms but on a white background. There's sort of a theme going on there. I guess I'm just not good with the whole design thing.
For a few weeks now, I have been battling as ever with how much of myself to lay bare on this blog. I know I treat this blog as some what of a diary, but I always try to stop myself from getting too deep into my personal life. After all, I don't really know who is reading this. However, sometimes I just need to write stuff down to try and stop it from constantly running around in my head, so here goes.
A few weeks ago, I went to have an ultrasound scan to determine the reason behind some ... uh ... feminine inconsistencies, and the results came back 'suggestive of PCOS', which stands for Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome. My doctor just sort of fobbed me off, telling me that I didn't display the stereotypical aesthetic symptoms, and that we didn't need to do anything until a time came when I would want to try for a baby, but to by all means research into it myself. This I did, and here follows a little summary of what I found.
Symptoms
The ways that PCOS shows itself include:
Absent or infrequent periods (oligomenorrhoea) - Yep, this is defiantly a problem for me.
Increased facial and body hair (hirsutism) - Maybe not obviously, but I have much more of a problem with hair than the rest of my family.
Acne usually found only on the face - I do get outbreaks of teenage skin regularly.
Infertility or miscarriage (sometimes recurrent): infrequent or absent periods are linked with very occasional ovulation, which significantly reduces the likelihood of conceiving - Well I haven't had a baby yet; haven't tried either though.
Obesity - The one symptom that I don't have any connection with, although I am confident that if I allowed myself to be, I could be very fat indeed. Instead, I tend not to eat and live off slimfast.
Effects of PCOS
diabetes
hypertension (high blood pressure)
increased risk of strokes and heart attacks
increased risk of cancer of the uterus
increased risk of cancer of the ovaries
Depression / anxiety
Weight Gain
However, none of this really bothered me, until I read this:
Up to 65% increased chance of Miscarriage
Babies born to women with PCOS have a higher risk of spending time in a neonatal intensive care unit or of dying before, during, or shortly after birth.
And I want so much to be a mum some day.
<3 x
All information from net doctor, NHS and womens health.gov
For a few weeks now, I have been battling as ever with how much of myself to lay bare on this blog. I know I treat this blog as some what of a diary, but I always try to stop myself from getting too deep into my personal life. After all, I don't really know who is reading this. However, sometimes I just need to write stuff down to try and stop it from constantly running around in my head, so here goes.
A few weeks ago, I went to have an ultrasound scan to determine the reason behind some ... uh ... feminine inconsistencies, and the results came back 'suggestive of PCOS', which stands for Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome. My doctor just sort of fobbed me off, telling me that I didn't display the stereotypical aesthetic symptoms, and that we didn't need to do anything until a time came when I would want to try for a baby, but to by all means research into it myself. This I did, and here follows a little summary of what I found.
Symptoms
The ways that PCOS shows itself include:
Absent or infrequent periods (oligomenorrhoea) - Yep, this is defiantly a problem for me.
Increased facial and body hair (hirsutism) - Maybe not obviously, but I have much more of a problem with hair than the rest of my family.
Acne usually found only on the face - I do get outbreaks of teenage skin regularly.
Infertility or miscarriage (sometimes recurrent): infrequent or absent periods are linked with very occasional ovulation, which significantly reduces the likelihood of conceiving - Well I haven't had a baby yet; haven't tried either though.
Obesity - The one symptom that I don't have any connection with, although I am confident that if I allowed myself to be, I could be very fat indeed. Instead, I tend not to eat and live off slimfast.
Effects of PCOS
diabetes
hypertension (high blood pressure)
increased risk of strokes and heart attacks
increased risk of cancer of the uterus
increased risk of cancer of the ovaries
Depression / anxiety
Weight Gain
However, none of this really bothered me, until I read this:
Up to 65% increased chance of Miscarriage
Babies born to women with PCOS have a higher risk of spending time in a neonatal intensive care unit or of dying before, during, or shortly after birth.
And I want so much to be a mum some day.
<3 x
All information from net doctor, NHS and womens health.gov
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