Slimming World Update

Yeah I know. It's been a while. I may not have been blogging, but that does not mean I have stopped slimming. 

Over the past two weeks, I have lost another pound. Yeah it's not huge. But you know, it's hard. I think it's harder the longer you do it for. I maintained last week, which is the closest to a gain I've been. I'm determined not to gain though. Although the three pizzas I had in the space of 6 days last week seem to suggest otherwise ...

We've been to another couple of groups and I think we've settled on one. Wednesday straight after school. It should mean that it doesn't cut into the evening, and hopefully means I won't be tempted to get takeaway and binge when I get home. It's early enough in the week to not just give myself a long weekend off too. At least, that's the hope. 

My main problem is that I binge. I do really well and then my brain just breaks and all of a sudden I've gone so majorly off plan that even getting straight back in it doesn't make a difference. The damage is done. Take Friday for example. I had a really good day. HeB cereal with heA milk for breakfast. Soup for lunch. Mullerlight for a snack. Then I had to go to sainsburies on the way home to pick up something for my fully free on plan slimming world dinner, and somehow ended up buying and subsequently eating a whole fresh baguette with a load of butter. A whole baguette. Then half a big bar of chocolate left over from my low syn dessert. All within about 10 mins. This was the day after I got a large cheesy bites and ate all but one slice. On my own. It's not that I'm hungry, nor that I feel full afterwards. God, I've never realised how much of a cliche I am. No food can fill the emptiness inside or some such shit. 

I guess just need to work on my emotional binging. I'm planning all my meal and it's not like I don't have enough food. I just can't help but loose control sometimes. I'm determined to not be too far behind Rachey, and she got her stone award last week. At this point, I'm only about 2kg or 5.5lb off that stone off. If I try really hard, I should be able to get that in two weeks. 

Here's hoping anyway.

Slimming World - Weeks Five & Six

Result - 1/2lb loss

Ok so after two weeks a half a pound loss might seem like a bit of a disappointment. You could not be more wrong. I'm so proud of that half a pound loss. 

You see, Easter happened during those two weeks. Easter is my favourite time of year, with all my favourite foods; Easter eggs, simnel cake, creme eggs, mini eggs, fruit cake with marzipan in it, egg shaped chocolate ... You just can't get better food than Easter food. 

So I ate a lot over Easter weekend. And I mean a lot. But then I tried to be super good afterwards, having a week of normal on plan eating and a few days of SP to try and get myself of the pathological need to basically starve myself in the days before weigh in ... At least that was the plan. 

Knowing I had eaten so much, practically regaining my last two weeks loss in just one weekend, meant that I had a huge amount of guilt. Yes, I tried to eat well, but it's also the Easter holidays and some times I went out to eat and probably made choices that weren't fully thought out, leading to even more guilt. My diet from waking up on Wednesday morning until I weighed in on Thursday evening consisted of half a bowl of salad, an almond milk soy protein shake, an alpen light bar and a babybel light, all of which were on Wednesday. 

I'm going to be honest, I'm starting to scare myself. I've cried more about my weight this week than I ever have. I'm so proud of my half a stone, and I so want to reach my target healthily. I just really need to work on not being afraid to gain.