Hate You

I used to say I want to throw my laptop out of the window. I have since decided that it can stay here. Instead, I will throw myself out the window. IT IS ANNOYING WHEN IT TURNS OFF IN A SUDDEN HUFF. In other news, my father brought a new laptop today. £500 on a Sony Vaio. I laughed at him and told him they were shit. Mostly I was just pissed off that he could justify £500 on a new laptop when I can't justify half of that. Or rather, I won't. Not just yet. It can still last for about 45 mins at the moment. I still haven't quite got the hang of going to bed earlier when I have to be up earlier. <3 x

Resignation

It's weird watching a Korean TV show and having Boyzone pop up in background music. You kind of think they wouldn't have spread much further than the UK and Ireland, maybe America at a push, but South Korea? Impressive. In other news, its really depressing when yet another doctor says they cant help and you just have to live with it. Laptop has shut down in a huff again, and I can't really be bothered to mess around with iPhone posts, so that's all you're getting this evening. <3 x

Coincidence

Sigh. Laptop has turned its self off in a huff again. It's getting a little bit ridiculous now. Normally I'd just wait for it to calm down and turn it back on again, but even though I'm halfway through the penultimate episode of Gumiho, I'm kinda tired. That weird pain when I hula hoop has come back. I hadn't done it all weekend because my diet wasn't too great, but I have no idea whether it should be something I worry about or is something simple like muscle ache from lack of use. My problem is that no matter how much it hurts, I keep doing it anyway. I said I'd alternate between the massage and the weighted ... Nah I still just use both. I was trying to think of something to make the title of this post relevant but I'm coming up blank. <3 x

Today's vocabulary consisted of 'ow' and 'bleurgh'

I feel bad. For more than one reason. The first is that I missed a day. For the first time since I decided to blog every day, I was not able to post last night. In all fairness, I was a little preoccupied due to tummy pains and vomiting, which brings me to the second reason why I feel bad. Last night, my friends and I embarked on a trip to the cinema with no idea that it would end surrounded in puke. After they graciously got me home, I spent the whole night in further agony and vomit, and I don't think anyone in the house got to sleep. I feel really bad for it. Firstly, because it's always me in these situations, not once have I had to run around like a headless chicken while Elle throws up in a public place, and she's had to do that twice in the past couple of weeks for me. I have never had to look after Inki in a non-alcohol induced state. I have never had to stay with my mum all night because I can't bare the thought of her suffering alone. I would obviously, if the occasion arose, but it just makes it so obvious how inexplicably good people are to me, and I do nothing to deserve it. I'm still only a few chapters into Mockingjay, so that proves how poorly I've been. Anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now seeing as my cramps seemed to have finally stopped. They were scarily regular until about 2 hours ago, and I've not had one since. I've had to watch a load of tv though. Mostly documentaries about Italy or history. Apparently the only time I slept was through the duration of one about food poisoning and viruses, so that was smart of me. I also have to try and get the strength to go to work tomorrow. <3 x

I'm blogging from my iPhone once again, but this time not because my laptop is ring slow or unresponsive, but due to laziness in my part. There are a few photos I wanted to share, and as these are on my iPhone, it seems to make more sense to just post from my iPhone rather than put them on my laptop and all that faff. Also, the mistakes in iPhone posts are always far more amusing than normal laptop blogged posts. Take for example the first sentence. I reread that and for some reason 'I'm on my way!' was in the middle. I have no idea how that happened. Kinda wish I hadn't deleted it now.

I spent a vast proportion of today watching Mary Stayed Out All Night. I felt so bad that I had spent so long watching it that I even cleaned the oven. Spent an hour and a half straight scrubbing, and my arms felt a little jellyfish (auto amusement) jellyish afterwards. Its a horrid job, but I have to admit I find it rewarding, cos you can always see the difference you have made.

Here's the sink after I had finished with the oven.

Bother. I can't add photos from my iPhone. I'll have to faff after all. And now I've reached the stage where I can't see what I'm writing anymore because the post is too long.

I finished the RSVP for the June wedding. It's pretty bitty but it amused me no end. I was going o post a photo of thy too, but right now I'm thinking I might just leave this post photo less as I really cannot be bothered. I hate not knowing ht I'm writing. This is most likely a stream of completely nonsense, but I'm going to keep it even if it is, just so you can see how hard it is blogging on an iPhone.

<3 x

I'm not a masochist.

Lucky you, you get another iPhone post, which means that this post is likely to be unedited and full of mistakes and textual diahorrea.

Everything I was so worked up over yesterday seems a little ridiculous now. I still feel shitty and a little worried about all parties involved, but hopefully it will blow over with nothing more being said.

You know those racks they use as torture in the middle ages? I wish I had one. I have spent most of today crouched over and now my back kills. Particularly on my left side by my shoulder blade, just out of easy reach. Having my whole body stretched out until something goes click seems like it would help a lot.

Not that I'm masochistic or anything. More like a sports massage, that sort of level.

It's not helping that I'm having to type this with my iPhone right up next to my face as I'm not wearing my glasses or lenses. I guess the only thing for it is to really stretch out ... in my bed ^^

<3 x

Guilt trip

If there is one thing everyone should know about ke, it should be that I am probably about the easiest person to make feel guilty you'll ever know. I know I act cruel on the outside from time to time, but after every single mean word or action, I feel an almost instantaneous sense of guilt.

I feel sick with guilt right now, and the worst thing is that I know I shouldn't be feeling this bad for something like this, something that will be so easily forgotten about by everyone else involved. Everyone except me. I still feel guilty about similar situations the occurred years ago.

Let's just say person A and I were talking about person B in a very light hearted and jokey manner, and came to a one word conclusion. Days, weeks even, later, I repeated what we had said, again in a very light hearted way, to person C. Then I get a text off person B saying person C is upset and is it because of what person A had said.

It sounds much morr bitchy than it is. Its not bitchy at all, but i dont know if person B and C see it that way. I put all the blame on my self. Mostly to protect person A, and how person B thinks of them. But now my heart hurts because the idea of actually upsetting anyone is so terrifying to me, even more so when it seems likely that I have upset two people I care about very deeply.

I just can't stand the thought of upsetting someone I love.

Pfffttt

Men are stupid.

I just got in, and noticing that the house was dark, came to the logical conclusion that my mother was asleep. I creeped upstairs without turning on the lights and quietly made it to my room.

About 3 minutes later *CLICK* *SLAM*. On come the hall and landing lights, and up the stairs stomps my father, making more noise than an elephant covered in firecracker ants. I whispered to him 'you are clearly highly inexperienced in coming home late, you are supposed to be quiet and not turn all the lights on, even if you are drunk.', to which he replied loudly, even though he was right outside his bedroom door and all but hanging on to the door frame to stay upright 'I'm not drunk, I feel sick.'. I told him that was called being drunk.

Why are men so inconsiderate? It doesnt take a brain surgeon to figure out that at 1am, people will be trying to sleep, and it's only good manners to respect that.

School went really well today. My hands are stained blue from doing tie dye with one group, and we made an awesome ancient Greece costume for the artists mannequin on the second session. I was nervous this week and felt somewhat unprepared, but everything worked out well.

Right, that's it for today, before I asleep while writing

<3,;

Can't think of a relevant or creative title

Today, you get an iPhone post because I literally can't be bothered to walk upstairs to my laptop right now. Even if I did, it wouldn't open blogger quick enough for me to post before midnight, so you would still get an iPhone post. Really I'm just cutting out the middleman, it has nothing to do with my own laziness.

I'm back at the charity school tomorrow, and I have only thus evening been given the go ahead to buy my supplies, which means that for this weeks session at least, I'll have to make do with what they already have and my own kit. Luckily, I was only planning to teach them how to use a sewing machine and maybe do a few samples of appliqué and reverse appliqué, so it all works out I guess, I just hope I can get everything in a week. I'm a little nervous. I know it's going to be very relaxed and not lesson-like, but I want these kids to enjoy these sessions, whether they are particilary interested or not, and I especially don't feel comfortable being left alone with them. This is still something I have never done before, and it's still very scary.

I wish autocorrect would stop changing it's to IRS.

Now I'm going to drag my lazy bum off the sofa and go upstairs to plonkiton my bed. Then I'll turn my laptop on. Yes, I know I said I couldn't be bothered to do just that, but now the senseof urgency has gone to post beforemidnight and my eyes hurtbecause of my lenses.

Also, my iPhone has stopped separating words automatically because it is do used to hashtagging.

<3 x

Sometimes, twitter is just too public

I am so sick of constantly being surrounded by so many people, and yet feeling so alone.

Spare Part

As you know, I am currently working as costume trainee on a new drama. Part of my role as trainee is obviously to learn, as well as do all the menial tasks noone else wants to do and help anyone in the costume department wherever and whenever needed.

In the past, I have been confident on set because if it's just me, as it always is, I know exactly what I'm doing. What I'm finding most difficult on this shoot is knowing my place. For instance, on my first day on set I was told to stick by the daily, a costume assistant who comes in just for a day or two. So I did, but as she knew in her head how she wanted them to look, I couldn't really do anything but help when she wanted it. I couldn't take control of my own group and keep them in line. Today, I was put in charge of all the Extras, a task that was really exciting for me as I could finally know exactly what im supposed to be doing. However, as soon as I started doing my job, another one of the costume dept jumped in, kind of taking over and leaving me feeling somewhat redundant again.

It's just frustrating. I finally find my own place, finally get the opportunity to work on my own initiative, and it gets taken away from me. I don't think it's being done intentionally, they just want to make sure everything is perfect? Bit it just leaves me felling useelrs.

Sorry, moan over.

<3 x

You know, I don't think I have anything to share this evening. My day consisted of being on the truck most of the day, doing the little menial tasks that noone else has time or wants to do. Like ironing. I hate ironing. I don't do it normally for myself, let alone anyone else. I think I've ironed more shirts in the past few days than I have in my entire life.

I also had to run into town multiple times on the hunt for strong toupee tape, which proved pretty much impossible.

I'm going to be soooo fit at the end of this shoot, the amount of times I run in and out of town.

Now it's half 11 at night, I've been home for half an hour, and I have to be back out the house at 6am. Therefore I'm going to bed. Before I start writing nonsense or sleep typing emoticons again.

<3 x

Blogging before bed

I've got to stop writing my posts as I'm in bed about to go to sleep, because I only realise the next day that they make absolutely no sense. You can literally tell the exact point in which I got too tired and started typing with my eyes closed. But I'm going to leave it for comedic value.

I've hit that point already, so I hold no responsibility for what I write.

(T_T)

I'm also not going to delete anything that randomly appears.

<3 x

Set Voice

I realised today I have a set voice.

By this I mean a voice or manner of speaking that I use exclusively on set. I don't think I have ever talked this way before, nor do I when I'm in a normal situation.

I call everyone lovely.

Now people will know that I use lovely a lot anyway.

'Want a cup of tea?'
'Thanks, that'd be LOVELY.'

'Here's that dead squirrel you wanted.'
'LOVELY, thanks.'

And so on.

But on set, I wLk past someone ...

'Alright, LOVELY?

... If I mess with their costume ...

'Is that comfortable, LOVELY?'

I just become some sort of maternal figure, but not quite right as I don't have the confidence yet to probably look after someone. Mostly I just try and stay out of the way until
I'm needed.

I guess it's not bad to have a professional
Manner, even if it's not exactly in the conventional snsd.

<3 x

Of Chronicles and Duty

My laptop is playing silly beggars again. It won't let me sign into blogger for some reason, which is super annoying. Yet, somehow, I can still sign in on my iPhone. How does that work?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I didn't blog again yesterday. It was another really long day. That night, we were joined in our room by another actress and actor, meaning there were 5 of us in a tiny room, with me and two others on the floor. I woke up sooo achey, although at least I slept some that night. I was up again at 5am and on set by 7.30, after a brief detour in our car to a service station to get breakfast and do things you don't feel comfortable doing in a house full of people. We were then shooting until about 7, I left Leeds about 9, and eventually got home at 11.30. Then i had to try and get myself ready for my first day on the drama before collasping into bed. Long day.

My first day on the drama was good but I couldn't help but notice how different it is from what I'm used to. I don't know whether it's because it's a professional shoot, the genre is the shoot being serious, or just because it's the first day, but it's so much more fun on a low budget crew. I think
People are more willing to relax
On a low budget crew, whereas on a abbot of this level, everyone is there to mKe money rather than for the experience. , and so people seem to stick in their own little departments more.

I think it's really sad. One of my favourite things about my job is how quickly you become close to the rest of the crew and cast, but there just doesn't seem to be any overlap.

Having said that, I did spend half my day reading the scripts in the park and the rest in the truck, so I didn't really het to experience what its like on set yet.

Anyway, I hav a 7am call tomorrow, so I should get to bedey byes. Especially s's I'm
Really struggling to keep my eyes open.

<3 x

In which I am tired

Yeah, so I may have missed a post this month. But, in my defence, last night was so super busy. For a start, I didn't finish my costumes for the weekends shoot until about 5pm, and then I couldn't get in touch with who I was supposed to be staying with to get her address, so I had pretty much decided that I wasn't going anywhere that night... until I managed to speak to her, and she said I was needed for costume fittings ASAP. So I rushed over to Leeds, arriving at 10pm, went to bed (well floor) at about 1, to be up at 5.

I am tired.

Today's shoot went ok, in terms of costume, I think. Everyone looked pretty good, and everyone else seemed happy. Obviously there were things I woul LOVE to redo or change, because there always is, but never mind. Noone would notice the problems but me.

Now, I'm sat with all the cast and crew in a little bungalow with one bathroom, watching X factor. I hate X factor. And I'm tired. And I have to be up again at like 5am.

I'm tired.

<3 x

In which I decide I like titling my posts beginning with 'in which ...'

I totally didn't realise what time it was. I was just working away, trying to sew this goshdarn elastic into my fake sleeves so they definitely don't fall down, when I decided I couldn't do it so quit for the night. I'm noticing a trend developing.

Can't do something? Bed time.

At least I sorted my skirt problem out. It's now in two sections, rather than all as one, and just plain crappy leather stuff rather than pleats and whatnot.

I didnt get to go to see where I'll be working on the BBC shoot today because they were too busy, but I'm popping in ever so briefly tomorrow morning. For half an hour it barely seems worth it, especially when you take in the 1&1/2 hour travelling time, but I think it's important for me to show my face before shooting starts. Also, it'll take the stress off if I already know where I'm heading.

I'm still terrified, but I haven't had too much time to freak out because I've been too buy freaking out over my current shoot.

Speaking of freak outs, my friends are awesome. Yesterday, I get a visit from Rachey with a congratulations on the job card, which was lovely. Then I got a visit from Inki today after I had spent like 24 hours complaining in various forms, from text to this very blog, and even though I only hinted at cherry coke cheering me up, she brought me a 2 litre bottle, two toffee apples and a pack of cookies. You're far too good to me. I don't deserve it. But I do love you with all my heart. Platonically.

Right that's it from me.

<3 x

I'm boring.

Why is it that every time I go to blog, my laptop decides to mess up?

I don't have much to blog about today. My day has been pretty boring and not much has happened. So here follows a breakdown.

I decided I need to remake one of the skirts and redo the buckles on my heroes corset, thus creating more work for myself.

I watched Wild Wild West and was able to justify it as research.

I ripped one of the vacuum bags under my bed, and now there are my old costumes everywhere.

Elle and Eddy have pretty much being trying to lie down all day. I don't care how in love they are, I'm NOT having cardboard babies in my room.


That's pretty much it.

<3 x

Hana Kimi

So you guys know about Hana Kimi by now. You know I've watched the original Japanese drama, and have been reading the manga forever. You may also remember that there is also a Taiwanese version (I believe I posted a picture of a hot guy in it). And, if you're super attentive, you may even remember that SM Entertainment, the label of many of my favourite Korean pop groups, have announced that they will be making a version at some point in the future (it's highly likely they'll cast within their own company, with means Super Junior!).

So, basically, there are lots of versions of Hana Kimi out there.

Last night, after I had finished my work for the evening and had got into bed to chill out before I went to sleep, I decided to watch the latest episode of Ouran High School Host Club. I have been watching this series every week as it airs, and so far, I am finding it quite enjoyable. Ridiculously over the top, and not quite as good as the anime, but enjoyable none the less. Also, I think it's filmed in the same place as Mei-chan no Shitsugi.

Anyway, I digress. As I was watching Ouran, I glanced to the side bar at the 'currently airing series' section. There, I saw a name I didn't expect to see. Hana Kimi Remake. Instantly, I thought that SM entertainment had finally filmed and released the Korean version, but I realised too soon that this was not the case. This remake was Japanese.

I don't get it. Why do you need two series of the same name and same plot made in the same country within 3 years of each other? Especially when the first was so well loved? I watched the first episode and to me, it seened like almost a carbon copy of the original. I could understand if they were to follow the manga more, or go in a completely new direction, but as it is now, the characters are just too similiar to the originals that you can't help but compare them all the time. Especially when the original cast are all major actors now.

I mean, come on. The first is the original, and the second is the remake. They're not even trying to make them different.

I feel I should point out, this post is merely a rant about why we need another Hana Kimi. Not once did I say I wouldn't watch it.

<3 x

What DID happen

I just read yesterday's post - can you tell I was literally falling asleep as I typed at the end?

So today, I did have my interview. To start off I was like 20 minutes early, and the whole interview was finished by my original interview time. It went well I thought, the two ladies were very nice, although a little scary. Not because they themselves were scary, but how they kept reitterating how difficult a job this was. None the less, I told them about my experience etc., tried to be as relaxed and lovely as possible, and left the interview feeling confident that even if I didn't get the job, I had still made a good enough impression that they might think of me next time. Then I went home, and literally forgot all about it.

We went Bridal Dress shopping! It was the first time we'd been with Rachey to scout out ideas rather than just seeing ones she'd already seen and tried on, so it was really nice to be able to see ones that didn't look good as well as the ones that did. That doesn't sound nice, but as the person who is making the dress, it was good to be able to see exactly what she did and didn't like, and gauge her first impressions of different styles. It's so annoying that these shops don't let you take photos, because if you have tried on more than two dresses in a day, they very easily start to blur together and it's so easy to get confused. But I think we found the one that Rachey wants, so at some point I'm going to have to do some research into it so I can start making it soon! I'm really looking forward to it, but it's not going to be easy, making one Wedding Dress and four Bridesmaid's dresses.

Especially seeing as I am going to be super busy over the next 3 months, what with working for the BBC and all.

<3 x