Haru

It's been very close to a month, but I still get caught unaware and find myself with tears in my eyes.

I was just watching the last episode of Degree of Love, and one of their songs came on. It wasn't even a particularly well known one, but I recognised those vocals straight away. The scene was supposed to be funny, but still, there were tears.

Sometimes, I'm watching funny clips of them and smiling, but still, somehow, there are tears.

My instagram feed was full of clips, photos, messages. Constant reminders. Slowly things have moved on and now it's only the odd post, but that almost makes it worse. Unprepared and my heart stops, randomly finding that there are tears.

I think I'm more upset about the boys. I can watch his solo music videos and feel sad and sorry, but it's the five of them together that really gets me. It was a hard year for them, with the scandal and the backlash that kept them from performing together, even the continued controversy just days before, and now the thought that the group will never be whole again is heartbreaking. Especially when they were the only SM original line up. I'm fairly certain they would have been celebrating 10 years this year.

I'm glad they've announced that they will go on, I just hope the boys look after themselves and each other.