The 10 Day Rule

I live about 2 and a half hours away from my family. You know, one of those 2 and a half hour journeys that normally takes at least 3 hours without being uncommon to reach 4 hours.

I used to head down at weekends, but soon found the sometimes 8 hour round trip too exhausting after a week of work which is quite frankly, emotionally draining.

Because of this, I made a conscious decision to only attempt that journey during school holidays. During half terms, I would have a maximum of 9 days, but more often than not somewhere in the region of 5 days. This is a good amount of time, both for me and for my family. It's long enough to see everyone plenty, but short enough that it encourages us to make the most of the time together to do fun holiday activities (despite the fact that I'm the only one on holiday). The summer holidays normally work well too, go down for a week or so at the start, and then another stint at the end of the 6/7 week break. Christmas and Easter, however, are slightly more tricky. They are longer holidays, especially Christmas, which often is 3 weeks. 3 weeks!

Something happens after 14 days. It stops being a holiday. It becomes life. When your entire family are currently retired or on maternity leave, you start to feel retired too. You start to lose your independence, sinking back into the family mind set. You've moved past the point of being annoyed into just accepting your family's idiosyncrasies. You put down anchors and have absolutely no idea that it's happening. It's not a negative thing, far from it, but it's not entirely positive either.

The problem comes when it's time to leave. It is a physical wrench to drive away, and the loneliness that greets you on the other side isn't much fun either.

I did this once, and it was so bloody hard to leave that I then decided on the 10 day rule. Visits to family should be no longer than 10 days in length. It's served me well, or at least it does when I stick to it.

17 days. I cried when I left.

Must. Remember. 10. Day. Rule.