Reuniting with Yasmin

I meant to blog yesterday. I had a post figured out in my head and everything, but I ended up in bed by 9.30 and asleep by 10.30, and seeing as I normally post between 11 and 12.30, I kind of missed my chance.

I went to the doctors yesterday. I took myself off the pill 8 months ago, and wanted to discuss my lack of cycle and how that relates to my fertility, as well as how to manage the symptoms of PCOS that I've been struggling with. She basically told me that we'd worry about my fertility when I'm actively trying for a baby, and in the mean time, I should just go back on the pill.

In a lot of ways, it makes sense. Being on the pill managed my mood and my skin, the two things I've struggled with most since coming off of it. It never particularly had an effect on my weight, so I don't think it'll help there much, but Yasmin does have a reputation for weight loss. It's also healthier to have periods rather than not, and I guess seeing as my body can't seem to do that on its own, I need to make it do it somehow.

However, I do feel a bit fobbed off. The doctors answer to all of my concerns were that we would come back to it when I'm trying to get pregnant. She told me that there's no proof that diets or supplements help, and that there is basically nothing that could be done to help me manage my symptoms or re-establish a cycle in the time before I do start trying. I might as well mask it all with the pill instead.

I always knew that PCOS was incurable. Taking the pill doesn't help the problem, it just hides the symptoms. I could argue that it made things worse - it's a little tough to judge, it was so long ago. I certainly don't remember my cycle being this sparse, not to mention the cystic acne and mood swings.

I guess I still hoped that something could be done to help though. I think my appointment with the homeopath/nutritionist/medical herbalist person got my hopes up, with her promises that she could make everything better.

There's a part of me that wanted the doctor to give me a simple yes or no as to whether it was even an option for me to try. I can't help but feel that it's not. After all, no periods mean no ovulation, and no ovulation means no baby. I don't know what the point is if I can't have a child.