I was going to write this post earlier, but now that I have had some time to pull myself together, I don't really know how to put this. Lets just say I had another mid-February incident.
At the weekend, I said I needed to shut myself off from other people, and so I did. That needing to be alone feeling has yet to go away, and I have been taking out all my frustration on my family.
I kind of wanted to get it all off my chest, but now it seems like it would serve no other purpose than opening up old wounds, and I don't want to have to deal with any more emotion today. Its rather exhausting.
But so is trying to change, even if it is for the better. Especially when the changes are for the benefit of the people who know me best. I've been really trying hard to make a conscious effort to be nicer, but I can't help relaxing the mask in front of those I feel most comfortable around.
They say you can't change who you are. They also say practise makes perfect.
<3 x
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