It only really hit me this evening that the wedding is this Sunday. The Sunday that is only 4 days away. The Sunday where everyone will be looking at the bride in a dress that I made, and judging me accordingly.
Frankly, it terrifies me. Firstly, its a church, so I'm scared enough of breaking down in a big mess of fear and vomit as it is. Secondly, I don't want people to think she was a fool for letting a friend make the most important dress a girl will ever wear, regardless of the emotional sentiment between bride and dressmaker. People are bound to not like the dress, they always do, and many will think because it wasn't brought in a shop then it isn't good enough. I'm so afraid that the Bride won't like it on the day, or that there will be something wrong with it. I care less for the bridesmaids, but I am scared that all the above will apply to these dresses as well. What if I hemmed them wrong, what if they are all too long and we all trip over them, or too short and we all look stupid, or uneven and I look like a terrible dressmaker? What if, what if, what if ... I could go on forever and it wouldn't make me feel any better.
Mostly, I am terrified of the speeches. I do not want everyone's attention to be drawn to the fact that I did anything. I don't know how much the Bride and Groom are winding me up, but I have been told I have mentions in every speech and a freaking paragraph in the Groom's. I can't handle that. It was OK for the wedding last month, I was one of two. I can handle been part of something else, just please, don't throw me to the wolves all alone like that.
I might just hide under the table.
<3 x
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