The Muppets

I never watched The Muppets growing up. My parents hated that sort of thing, you know, like the Muppets and Sesame Street, the really Americanised TV. Instead, my sister and I grew up on a lot of classic British children's television, like Rosie and Jim, Bodger and Badger, Brum and Sooty.

Oh, and Power Rangers ... yeah.

This evening, we went to see The Muppets movie. I now know why I never felt like I was missing out for this show not being a part of my childhood.

I present to you 5 reasons why the Muppets are terrifying.

1) Scary Muppet 1

 

The fact that this thing is apparently called Sweetums makes it even more scary. Also, its HUGE. Like bigger than people huge. How did this thing not give kids nightmares? When its mouth is closed, lets just say it doesn't look so much like a mouth anymore ...

2) Scary Muppet 2

One, its a eagle. Eagles are big scary birds that rip things apart. Two, its blue. Being blue is either a metaphor, or signifies death. Conclusion? Savage Zombie Eagle. Good luck surviving that, children of America.

3) Scary Muppet BABIES.

I'm not sure what is more terrifying, the fact that I saw Muppets in the style of Babies in the film, like tiny muppets wearing white with little hats and nappies, the fact that I can't find a picture of them to proove it, or the fact that there are millions of pictures of the normal muppets in some sick twisted baby version spin off.

4) Kermit.

A nudist giant frog in a relationship with a pig, do I need to say any more?

5) THIS.

They were singing and dancing and being SUPER HAPPY. 

 

So, in conclusion, I'm pretty sure that if I had watched the Muppets when I was growing up,I would have been severely mentally scarred.

Just FYI, other things that mentally scarred me when I was little; Postman Pat and Thomas Comes to Breakfast.

<3 x